


I'll Stand By You

by LittleMissNicap



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Betrayal, Cancer, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-03-16 16:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3494612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissNicap/pseuds/LittleMissNicap
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just when Alex Cabot thought everything was fine, her life comes crashing down around her. Can Olivia Benson help pick up the pieces? A/O. Hurt/Comfort/Romance</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story, I'll Stand By You, is vaguely based on 2 different people from my life and things that happened to them. I'm combining their stories to make this story. It's set in current time, (season 15), but the Delia Wilson scandal never happened. So: no Elliott (he didn't shoot Jenna Fox, he just retired from SVU on his terms) and no Brian. Alex and Casey are still the assigned ADA's as they were in season 13 (and that's how they look in appearance). Lewis Williams certainly never happened in this story timeline, Olivia just decided it was time to cut her hair. It will start off as T rated, but it may eventually become M later on (haven't decided yet, but eventual Cabenson? Of course!) I think that's all that needs to be known. Hope readers enjoy :-)

Numb.

That was the best description ADA Alex Cabot could come up with as to what she was feeling right now. Her day had gone from great, to hover around terrible, then to come crashing down in an overwhelming landslide as the worst day in her life in the space of 6 hours. How could this have happened? Things like this only ever happens on television shows or movies, never in real life. But today proved to Alex that it did happen in real life.

Right now, she was running on auto pilot while she listened to Detective Olivia Benson's explanation for requiring a search warrant on a suspected rapist inside her office at 1 Hogan.

Olivia had held a torch for Alex since the blonde ADA was assigned after the Morris Commission, but had never acted upon it. Truth be told, she still held a torch deep within her heart to this very day. She had been close to finally revealing her feelings, but Abigail Carmichael had beaten her to the punch 2 years ago, when both Olivia introduced them at Elliott Stabler's retirement party, where SVU members past and present gathered to farewell the ex-Marine from the NYPD. Abbie was a Federal Prosecutor in Washington DC for several years, but had been transferred back to New York on her request, with short trips back to DC every month, around the same time Elliott retired. Alex and Abbie began dating shortly after and Olivia Benson, the honourable woman that she is, was happy for her friends to have found each other, even though it broke her heart. It was her own fault, perhaps if she hadn't kept putting it off, and instead put her heart on the line, things would have been different. But that was all past tense, ancient history now.

"So do we have enough for a warrant, Alex?"

"Yes, I believe so. I'll get you the warrant within an hour, Detective Benson." Alex lowered her head and resumed her paperwork, effectively dismissing Olivia.

In the last 6 months Alex had been more withdrawn from any interactions with Olivia than was truly necessary. No drinks after work, no dinner out with friends, maybe another time for this, a raincheck for that. Everything was strictly work related now. Olivia had started casually dating Serena Southerlyn a little over 6 months ago after being introduced by their mutual friend, Casey Novak, at a dinner the red haired ADA had organised just after Serena had returned to New York after living and working in Nation's Capital with the ACLU. Casey had become acquainted with Serena while she was censured for violating the Brady Rules. If Olivia had to pinpoint Alex's change, it was right after that very dinner. The SVU detective had gone over and over it in her mind, but couldn't put her finger on anything specifically. Everyone had gotten on quite well at the dinner, talking, laughing, light hearted banter, but after that night, Alex changed. She may have lost her opportunity to be with Alex romantically, but she didn't want to lose her friend either, and right now, that's exactly what it was starting to feel like for Olivia Benson.

"Is there something else you need, Detective?" Alex inquired, her head still buried in paperwork.

"I was wondering if you'd like to grab drink with me later on at the Shamrock, but I know for certain your answer will be no. Just like it  _always_  is now," Olivia lamented, her hand slipping in to her jeans pocket.

"That's not true." The blonde's head still down.

"Cut the crap, Alex! It's like you don't want me in your life any more. If I've done something to hurt our friendship, I'd like to know what it was. I think I at least deserve  _that_  courtesy."

"Nothing, Liv. It's  _not_  you." Alex continued to study her summation notes, striking a line through a sentence of text and rewriting the few words on the paper.

"Then why have you been avoiding me like the plague outside of work? We both know you have, don't deny it."

Alex placed her pen down. Slowly, she raised her head, her blue eyes hiding behind the black framed glasses eventually finding the brown ones looking at her with a hint of sadness. Alex was on the verge of tears as she stood up, but she was valiantly fighting a losing battle. "I know, and I'm sorry. I hope I haven't lost you as a friend, because I'm  _really_  going to need some now."

One one words sprang to mind for Olivia to describe Alex's demeanour.

Broken.

Olivia pulled Alex into a caring hug, "Alex, what's wrong? What's happened?"

Allowing herself to be guided by Olivia from her desk to the leather lounge in Alex's office, they sat down next to each other. "Today is officially  _the_  worst day of my life. I think it even supersedes being shot and entering WPP."

Olivia waited patiently for Alex to continue when the ADA fell silent.

"Liv, for the last 6 months, Abbie's been constantly accusing me of having an affair... with you."

"That's absurd! You and I both know that!"

"I know. I've been doing everything I possibly can to quell any fears she has of me cheating and it still didn't matter. She kept throwing my cheating on Robert with Jim in my face, I did it once and said she was sure I'd do it again. I'm truly sorry if I've ruined our friendship by doing what I did to you, so now you know that's why I've been avoiding you like I have. But that changes from now on."

"You've not ruined our friendship, believe me. But I'm not sure I understand. What do you mean by it didn't matter any more, Alex?"

"Abbie broke up with me this morning... because  _she's_  the one that's been having an affair behind my back."

"She accused  _you_ , and  _she's_  the one having the affair?!"

"Yeah. Diverting her own guilt on me, I guess. And it's not just a recent thing either. She's been having an affair for the last year she's been with me! She used the excuse that me not wanting children had something to do with it. I'd told her when we got together it wasn't a priority at the  _moment_ , because I'd just come back from the Congo and started back at SVU, but maybe  _later on_  we'd look into fertility treatment or adoption."

"Do you know who Abbie cheated with?"

"No. She said I didn't need to know... not my concern!" Alex shook her head sadly, "I can't believe how blind I've been to it, but I guess love does that to people. At least now I know why we haven't had much sex in the last 6 months, but her constant accusations didn't help. I loved her  _so_  much, Olivia... I was actually going to propose to her to show her how much. I picked a ring and started paying it off." Alex gave a halfhearted laugh, "I was going to make another payment on it today! Glad the lawyer in me took out the insurance... _just in case_."

A fresh wave of tears took hold of Alex as she continued her explanation, "Then when I thought my day couldn't get  _any_  worse than it was... it did."

Olivia looked at the blonde questioningly as she passed Alex a couple of tissues from the box on the coffee table. Alex took a deep steadying breath, she was still processing it herself. "I have breast cancer."


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia wanted to rage at the world.

Firstly for the cold callousness that Abbie had treated Alex with. To cheat once would be classed by some as bad enough, some people might eventually forgive and put it down as an accident, a mistake, or a poor lack of judgement for a moment's pleasure. But to admit that you'd been cheating on someone that you say you love for a year, unforgivable in Olivia's books. Alex didn't deserve to be treated that way, and certainly not by the person that says they supposedly love you. Olivia felt she knew exactly how Alex should be treated, and given the opportunity, she would treat her the love, kindness and respect Alex deserved.

And secondly for the cruelty that was cancer. An indiscriminate disease that didn't care what gender you were; what colour your skin was; what age you were; or what your sexuality was, everyone was fair game for its malice. For a woman, the forms 2 of cancer that could be considered to be cruelest were breast cancer, and uterine cancer. For a man, prostate and testicular cancer would fall into the same category.

After everything Alex Cabot had been through with her double stint in Witness Protection, Olivia knew the blonde ADA didn't deserve anything like this. Not this double whammy.

"Oh my god, Alex. How... I mean when... I-"

Alex explained as she dabbed her eyes with the tissue, "I had a mammogram last week and I got a call back to say there was an abnormality discovered in my left breast compared to the previous time. They were fairly sure it was just a cyst but they wanted to do some followup testing just to be certain. So I had another mammogram 2 days ago, along with an ultrasound, a biopsy and a fine needle aspiration."

"That's why you were away from the office all day Monday?"

"Yeah. I found out just over an hour ago that it's not a cyst but a lump, and not to be alarmed, but there are cancerous cells in the lump. They're classing it as Stage 1."

"You didn't... feel... anything to indicate something was wrong?"

"I've done self exams before, and ah... Abbie definitely 'checked'... on more than one occasion," Alex emphasised with air quotes and gave another halfhearted laugh, "Not recently though, and you can understand why she hasn't. Besides, neither of us would have felt anything because they're saying it's a deep tissue lump, not a surface lump."

"Sooo... what happens now?"

Alex went to stand up, "I get you your warrant."

Liv rolled her eyes at Alex's blasé brush off, stopping her from standing. "That's  _not_  what I meant, and you know it."

"I have to see the surgeon the day after tomorrow," Alex sat back down on the lounge.

"Friday?! Whoa! They're not messing about, are they?"

Alex shook her head, no. "I figure with the lump being small, the best case scenario is a lumpectomy. But I won't know more until I see the surgeon. I don't want to worry myself until I know the facts."

"Does Abbie know about-"

"No! And she's not going to either."

"She deserves-"

"Nothing! She deserves  _nothing_ , Olivia. You're the  _only_ one that knows right now, and it's going to  _stay_  that way. Abbie finds out about this and she'll try and come crawling back because  _she_  feels bad. I don't want  _pity_  from her, and I don't want  _her_! She made her decision  _quite_  clear this morning... well, a year ago if you think about it... and I'm  _not_  going to take her back because she feels guilty. I have to worry about  _me_  now, and definitely not worry about  _her_  and her little  _fling_  on the side. I don't want to be wheeled into surgery and have my last thoughts be wondering if she's going to have a sneaky booty call while I'm having bits cut out of me."

Olivia's phone indicated an incoming text message.

Serena Southerlyn.  _'Sorry Liv, Can't catch up until weekend now. Busy with work. Rena xo'_

Liv saw the message on the screen and immediately slipped the phone back in her pocket.

"You're not going to reply to it?"

"No, it's just Amaro. He'll be wanting to know if I've secured the warrant or not," Olivia lied smoothly. She didn't want to lie to Alex, but she didn't want to lose focus either. Alex was more important than replying to Serena's text. "He's not important right now,  _you_  are."

"Liv, you kept me being in Wit Sec a secret for all the time I was in the program, and I thank you for that. I hope you can do the same again with this and not say anything. I don't want anyone knowing about the... cancer... until I know what's going to happen. Even then, I'm not sure I want many people knowing until I'm ready."

"You have my word. You're secret is safe with me."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything you want, Alex."

"Would you consider being my medical proxy and emergency contact? I want to get that amended as soon as possible before I see the surgeon. If you don't want to because you're with Serena now, I'll understand-"

"I don't have any problem being either of those for you. I've known you  _a lot_  longer than Serena. And Serena and I aren't serious, we're just casual." Olivia said, mentally adding, 'quite casual, thankfully'.

Alex replied with hint of sadness, "At least one of us still has a woman in their love life."

A pang of guilt hit Olivia, "Like I said, Serena and I are just casually dating. Honestly, I don't think she's _the one_  for me. Don't get me wrong, she's nice and all, but her and I just don't have that... certain connection. No, let me rephrase: I know she's not  _the one_  for me.  _That_  woman is still out there... somewhere. Maybe I'll find her one day?" She knew she probably shouldn't seeing Alex's relationship with Abbie had only ended that morning, but being it had been 2 long years since she had, Olivia took a chance to flirt with the ADA, "Keep a look out for someone will you?... Just between you and me, I  _do_  have a penchant for blondes."

Alex smiled, but then the smile slowly faded away, "I really thought I had that connection and I'd found the  _one_ , but I guess she's still out there waiting for me too. I'll keep an eye out for you, Olivia. But I know I won't be looking for a while, and  _raven_  haired women are definitely off the table for good. So... Serena's your Ms Right Now, not Ms Right?"

"I think that's the best description," Olivia was quite thankful she was a brunette.

"Liv, can I ask you something else?"

"Sure."

"Will you come with me to the surgeon on Friday afternoon? I think I'll need a good friend for support seeing it won't be Abbie..." Alex trailed off, a few more tears leaking from her eyes.

"Absolutely." Olivia stood up, helped Alex to her feet and then gave the blonde a comforting hug. "Hopefully, finding the lump early will be a big advantage for you."

"Let's hope so... Hey, when was the last time  _you_  had a mammogram?"

That wasn't a question Olivia had been expecting, "I... ahh... well... it's been..."

"Been a while?" prompted Alex.

Olivia's eyes wandered the office, "Umm... that's to say..."

"You've  _never_  had one, have you?"

The detective's silence was enough the tell Alex the answer.

"Liv!" Alex admonished, "You're older than me! Go and have one as soon as possible! Please tell me you've at  _least_  had a pap smear test in recent years?"

"It's been... a little while."

"Damnit Olivia! These sort of tests are important! I don't even want to  _think_  what the diagnosis would be if I hadn't that mammogram now!"

Olivia knew Alex was right. If Alex had let the mammogram go another 2 years, who knows what stage her breast cancer would be by that time? Stage 2? Stage 3? Stage 4? "I'll go and have them done, just for you."

"That's very sweet of you to say Detective, but don't do it for  _me_. Do it for  _yourself_!"

"Ok, I promise will. Both as soon as possible."

"Good!" Alex walked back to her desk and gathered her attaché bag, "Once again, I'm  _really_  sorry for treating you the way I have been these last 6 months."

"Apology accepted."

"I better go get that warrant for you and Nick. Donnelly would probably be the best judge to see. Can you come over to my place tonight so you can sign the medical proxy and emergency contact paperwork? That is unless you're catching up with Serena?"

"No, not tonight. She's busy with work until the weekend," Olivia remembered the text she had received as she walked over to Alex's office door. When Alex and Olivia exited the ADA's office, they were met by Casey Novak.

"Casey, how did the arraignment go?" Olivia asked.

"Benjamin Archer was remanded to Rikers, thank god!" Casey sipped on her bottle of water. "Hi Alex."

"Hey Casey," Alex murmured as she locked her office.

"Alex, are you alright? You look a bit... upset."

"I've been better." Alex gave Olivia a look to remind her that the breast cancer was off limits. "But it's hardly surprising... considering... everything."

Casey gave a puzzled look, "I don't understand."

Olivia explained as Alex composed herself, "Casey, you might as well know before you hear it anywhere else on the grapevine... Abbie broke with Alex because Abbie's been having an affair."

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry Al! Why would Abbie do  _that_?! You and her were great together!"

Alex gave a small shrug, "I wish I knew."

"Do you know with who?"

"No. She wouldn't tell me. And it's not a recent thing either. Been happening for some time now."

"Geez, just when you thought you knew someone, they go and pull that shit."

"Yeah, that's what I thought too. Look, sorry to run off, but I have to go get a warrant for Olivia and Nick."

"Sure, you go. If you need to talk, I'm here for you," Casey offered generously as Alex walked towards the elevator, Olivia in step right beside her.

When the blonde and the brunette were out of ear shot, Casey muttered under her breath, "In your dreams, Cabot!"

Novak dialled a familiar number as she closed the door to her own office, "Rena,  _why_  didn't you tell me Abs finally broke up with her?!... Me? I found out from  _Ice Princess_  and  _Oblivious_  just now!... Yeah, well it would've been  _nice_  to be given a heads up and not be left out of the loop... Ok, ok you're  _both_  forgiven. So, the three of us are catching up tonight?... Meet at the Rainbow Shamrock... Celebratory champagne, of course... can't wait!"

A sly grin settled on Casey's lips as she ended the call.


	3. Chapter 3

Opening her apartment door Alex was greeted by Olivia, "What's with the third degree down in the lobby? I had to show ID before they'd let me up, and it was old Gregory on the door. He's seen me many times over the years!"

"Sorry about that. I updated my list of approved people this afternoon, so they're being vigilant. Took Abbie off the list, AND I had the locks changed too. She wants out, she's out for good.  _Her_  crap's in the corner there," Alex indicated the 4 large open cardboard boxes in the corner with books, magazines, ornaments, cosmetics and clothes thrown haphazardly in to them. "Better get the formality out of the way. The papers are on the table for you to sign. Thankyou for doing this Olivia, it means a lot to me."

"No problem." Picking up the fountain pen, Liv signed and initialled all the appropriate places indicated on the paperwork, "You'll be happy to know I've booked in for a mammogram and a pap smear test next week."

"Glad to hear it! Better to be precautionary then... well, you know."

"Yeah. By the way, I'm not catching tonight. So, do you want to go to the Shamrock and try and forget everything that happened today?"

Alex headed to the kitchen calling back over her shoulder, "Nope! I just want to stay home tonight but maybe get just a  _little_  bit drunk."

"Do you want me to leave you in peace?"

"Actually I'd love for you to stay seeing you'd understand why I might be sad. Maybe you can help cheer me up a bit? I really just don't want to go out tonight."

"Alright, I'll stay. You want some take out then?"

The ADA grabbed a pair of large wine glasses from the cupboard, "I actually took the liberty of ordering Indian, if that's alright?"

"Presumptuous much?"

"I figured if you said no, it just would've been leftovers for me tomorrow night." Alex said with a shrug.

"You order coconut rice?" Olivia approached.

"And vegetable korma, mango chicken, lamb masala and mint naan." Alex took a bottle from the wine rack, "Maybe you can assist cheering me up by helping me drink this  _very_  expensive bottle of wine I was going to open after I proposed to...  _her_. Might as well celebrate... I don't know... freedom?"

Olivia took the bottle from Alex's grasp, put it back in the rack and chose a different bottle she was more familiar with, "I'll help you drink a bottle of wine, but how about you keep  _that_ particular bottle and drink it when you've beaten the cancer? Have something really nice to celebrate with."

'"I like the way you think, Detective."

* * *

Revenge.

It can be sweet, or it can be a dish best served cold.

Right now, well into a second bottle of wine, Alex and Olivia were discussing various things they'd like to Abbie Carmichael as they proceeded to eat dinner at the coffee table while they sat on the floor. Each suggestion getting a little more outrageous than the next. They had been at odds whether to add peroxide to her shampoo or hair removal cream, but had eventually moved on. Currently, they were deciding what to do with the clothes in the corner. Donate them to charity? Cut them into little pieces? Inconspicuously split all her suits along the seams? Burn them and give her back the ashes?

"Put some smelly fish or shrimp in the bottom of each box," Liv sipped her wine. It was juvenile, but each suggestion was getting a laugh from both women. "Better still, sprinkle the boxes with mothballs and store them for a few months before giving them back to her! Make her smell like an old Grandma!"

"Oooooh!" A sly look appeared on Alex's face, then she got up and disappeared down the hallway. Olivia figured Alex was going to the bathroom and continued to eat dinner.

"You know what  _I_  want to do with  _these_?" Alex approached from the bedroom, a harness and flesh coloured dildo in one hand, a flesh coloured strapless strap-on double ended dildo in the other. A dozen thoughts and sexual fantasies that involved those items and the very woman holding them immediately bombarded Olivia's mind, but the SVU detective managed to choke out a small, "No?"

"I want to put itching powder on these and hope Abbie has a fun time with her little piece of  _ass_  on the side when she uses them!" Alex retorted, her words slightly slurred from the wine.

Olivia giggled, "Not bad... but I think we can think of something... nastier!" She took a few moments before voicing a suggestion, "Hot sauce!... Dipping them in hot sauce would be  _so_  much better."

Alex sat back down a little closer to Olivia while placing the toys on the floor, "Make them  _both_  burn like she burned me. Better make it apt for  _her_... Texan hot sauce!  _She_  can be known as the 'The Slutty Little Whore from Texas'!"

Liv slapped her hand on the coffee table a couple of times as a new thought came to her, "Oh! Oh! I know! Superglue in the lube bottle! Try and explain that  _sticky_  situation at the emergency department!"

"You're evil, Liv! Truly  _evil_!" Alex cackled at the very thought as she took another swig of wine. Indicating the toys, she continued, "You know... just between you and me... I  _really_  disliked these ones! They look much too...  _male_... for my liking. But  _she_  loved them." Alex held the harness aloft trying not to laugh, "You know what  _she_  called  _herself_  when she wore this?"

"Texas Longhorny?" Olivia chuckled, knowing Abbie had been on the track team while she attended the University of Texas.

Almost spilling her glass of wine as she placed it back on the coffee table, Alex said with a snort, "That's hilarious! But no, wait for it..." she leant closer to Olivia's ear while still trying to stifle a laugh, "King Dong!"

Both women roared with laughter, the wine clearly taking affect.

"So, were you called 'Ann Darrow' in bed?" the brunette waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

A wave of melancholy washed over the blonde as she looked down at the harness in her hand, "No... she called me her  _Princess_ , and  _not_  in a bad way. It was really sweet, like she is... was. She  _was_." Alex tossed the harnessed dildo then the strapless one over towards the open boxes, missing by a few feet in either direction. Her determined resolve returned, "Oh well! At least now I can go and get new ones that look less... phallic."

"I know the ones you mean... no veins or ridges. Hey, have you seen the ones that look like 2 curved fingers instead of a penis?"

"Noooooo!" Alex drawled, clearly awestruck. "But I  _love_  the sound of them!"

After a few taps of the screen, Olivia brought up the website on her phone and showed the blonde. "They look even better than they sound!"

Alex nodded in approval, "I am  _so_  getting one of those!"

Olivia leant in a little closer, placing her hand on Alex's thigh and patted it, "You know what the best revenge would be, Alex? Move on from Abbie. Find someone else that always treats you with respect and loves you unconditionally. She  _doesn't_  deserve you!"

"You're right! You're absolutely right!" Alex nodded her head in agreement, giving Olivia small coquettish smile.

Olivia reciprocated with her own that she had given over the years but not in recent time. The little spark of electricity that had been between them all those years ago was suddenly making itself known to both women, reviving hidden feelings.

"She kept accusing me of having an affair with  _you_... sooo...  _maybe_  I should have one with you?" Alex closed the gap, claiming Olivia's mouth. It took several long moments to pass before she realised what she was doing. Alex reeled back in horror, unaware of the fact that in their current inebriated state Olivia had returned the kiss with as much passion, "Oh my god! I'm so sorry Liv, I shouldn't have done that. You're with Serena... and I'm drunk... very drunk... and you're drunk... and we're drunk... and..." Alex's words trailed off, suddenly being replaced with heartbreaking sobs, "And  _why_  did she do this to me, Liv? Why did she... I  _loved_  her  _so_  much!"

"I know you did, sweetheart... I know you did." Liv pulled the blonde closer for a reassuring embrace, rubbing soothing circles on her back, desperately wanting to take Alex Cabot's heartache away.

* * *

"Hello Ms Cabot, I'm Doctor Marie Campbell. Please come in and sit down," the African American woman ushered both SVU members inside her office located at Mount Sinai Hospital after Alex had picked up Olivia from the 16th Precinct on Friday afternoon.

"Please call me Alex. This is Olivia Benson, my friend."

They all exchanged handshakes and pleasantries.

"Olivia's your support person?"

"Yes. She's also my medical proxy and emergency contact," Alex relayed with a smile.

"Good, good! I'm glad you've got a loving partner to help you on this journey."

"Ah, no. I'm not her partner," Liv corrected, her mind screaming 'unfortunately'. "Alex and I are just very good friends."

"Oh I'm so sorry! I just assumed you were a couple. You look like you are, and when you said Olivia was your proxy and contact... nevermind. How embarrassing!" Doctor Campbell took a seat at her desk, "Moving on, I've gone over your file and we've caught your breast cancer early enough. Stage 1 has a survival rate of of 95-98%." She brought up the digital x-ray images on the large computer screen for both Alex and Olivia to see and indicated a small white shadow, "Your lump measures 12 millimeters, so that's not too big, and is situated at the 2 o'clock position of your left breast. Over 2 centimeters in size, that would be Stage 2. Alex, can you take your blouse and bra off behind the screen over there?"

As Doctor Campbell sanitized her hands, Alex disrobed on the other side of the folding medical screen. She stoically maintained direct eye contact with Olivia trying to ignore Doctor Campbell as she palpated the breast tissue, "I can't even feel the lump, so it  _is_  deep... ...Can you lift your left arm up?... ...I can't feel that your lymph nodes are swollen either, but we won't know for certain if it's in the nodes until we take a look inside and remove a couple for testing. Alright, you can get dressed again."

"So what are we look at? A lumpectomy?" Alex asked as she buttoned the last button on her blouse and returned to her chair next to Olivia.

"We could do that procedure, but with each procedure, it has its pros and cons. Lumpectomy, we can preserve most of the breast... but if we miss any cancerous tissue that may be surrounding the lump, we're right back to where we started from, particularly being the lump is a deep tissue lump. A mastectomy on the other hand, we'll get it all first time, but I'm sure you realise what that procedure involves."

"That's quite radical surgery seeing the lump's so small! 12 millimeters! Not even a half of an inch!"

"Yes, it is small. But relative to the size of your breast, the lump would be considered somewhat large. If the lump was close to the surface, it would be a different story again, but being deep tissue lump we have to proceed differently. Each woman's surgery is different to the next. After your surgery, your oncologist then look at if you need to have chemo-"

"Chemo?!" Even though she was still sitting down, to Alex, it felt like her feet had just gone from under her.

"Yes, chemotherapy is a possibility. Radiation or hormone therapy are the others. It depends if the cancer has been detected in your lymph nodes."

"Am I going to be able to have children after all this?"

"I can't definitively say yes or no. It all depends on the outcome of the surgery, then whatever treatment the oncologist recommends."

A knock on the door disrupted their conversation. The receptionist popped her head around the door, "Sorry to interrupt Doctor Campbell, but Doctor Platt needs to speak to you momentarily regarding his male breast cancer patient."

"Will you ladies excuse me. I'll be back in a moment."

As Doctor Campbell closed the door, Alex spoke quietly, "Abbie was right to leave me. She wanted children, and I kept putting off wanting to have them and now it looks like I might not be able to. Looks like she got out at the right time."

Olivia reached over and gave Alex's hand a gentle reassuring squeeze, "Let's not be too hasty right now, surgery first. Now, forget Abbie Carmichael! She  _cheated_  on you, remember! Besides, you and I both know adoption is an option as well."

Before Alex could respond, Doctor Campbell reentered her office, "Sorry about that. Now, where were we?" She sat back down and checked Alex's medical file, "Oh yes, I'd like for you to have surgery as soon as possible. The faster we get on to this, the faster you'll be on the road to recovery."

"How soon, Doctor?" Olivia prompted.

Doctor Campbell brought up her surgery schedule on computer screen, "How does... a week from Monday sound? You can be the first surgery of the day."

Alex's jaw dropped, "Monday week?! You're not wasting time for this lumpectomy, are you?"

"I'm sorry Alex, there's no other way to put it. My recommendation is for you to have a mastectomy..."

"Mastectomy?!" Alex hand tightened in Olivia's grasp as her other hand shot up and covered her mouth.

"... You  _will_  lose your left breast."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes those dildos Olivia mentions are very real ;-)


	4. Chapter 4

"I want a second opinion!" Alex finally found her voice after she got over the initial shock of being informed she was to have a mastectomy.

"And you're entitled to ask for, and seek a second opinion. But I will tell you now, every single good surgeon in Manhattan, in New York City in fact, will give you the same opinion as I have: a modified radical mastectomy.  _Any_  surgeon that suggests you have a lumpectomy and 'hope for the best' is  _not_  a surgeon worth going to." Doctor Marie Campbell gave Alex an empathetic smile from the other side of the desk, "I  _do_ understand the feelings you're going through right now with the thought of losing your breast."

"Says the woman with both  _her_  breasts! I bet you say that to  _all_  your patients," the blonde muttered loud enough for both Liv and the doctor to hear.

"Alex!" Olivia chastised.

" _She's_  not the one getting her breast cut off Olivia,  _I am_! I think _you'd_  be asking the same question and reacting the same way if  _you_  were getting one of your 'girls' chopped off!"

Doctor Campbell was unperturbed by Alex's retorts, "Actually Alex... even  _after_  your surgery, you will still have more breasts than I have."

"I find that  _very_  hard to believe," Alex scoffed, eyeing the cleavage of Doctor Campbell hidden beneath her blouse and coat.

"These," Doctor Campbell indicated each of her own breasts, "are breast forms."

Alex arched an eyebrow, "Pardon me?! Breast  _what_?"

"Breast forms. These are  _both_  prosthetic breasts that I'm wearing," Doctor Campbell took one of the largish cube boxes from the shelf behind her desk and placed it in front of her. "I had a double mastectomy, also known as bilateral surgery, just on 3 years ago. My oldest sister, my mother, her sisters, her mother, her grandmother... they  _all_  died from breast cancer. Seems my mother's side of the family was and is predisposed to get breast cancer. We have what we now know is the BRCA gene, so I had preventative surgery, as did my younger sister. I lost both my breasts, and I also lost my husband for choosing the surgery. He couldn't handle the thought of his wife not having voluptuous breasts any more... didn't think I would be a  _woman_  any more."

"You're kidding?" Olivia said, her jaw dropping in disbelief.

"I wish I was. But in having the surgery, I gained life and I now have a loving fiancé. I don't want to speak out of place and offend either of you ladies, but he doesn't care that I don't have my breasts any more, he loves me unconditionally and has done so for a long time. But I chose to get these prosthetic breasts to give me back my self confidence, and feel normal again. I won't lie Alex, having one of your breast removed will make you feel somewhat lopsided. Getting a prosthetic will help you regain a form of normality. It can also help prevent lymphoedema, lessen chances of neck and shoulder problems and help maintain your natural posture."

Marie opened the box, removed the sample silicone breast form from its cradle and passed it to Olivia when Alex didn't move. "They're not as perfect as the real thing, of course, but they are improving the shapes and textures remarkably these days. They warm up with skin contact and after a few times wearing them, you _do_  forget that you're wearing them and that they're fake. The only time you remember is when you take it off at night and put it on in the morning. Mine obviously fooled you well enough, Alex. Breast forms come in all different shapes, cup sizes and skin tones now.  _This_  particular model is a 2 layer breast form, ideal for younger, older or smaller breasted women. You will need to get new pocketed mastectomy bras as they help the prosthesis sit comfortably. But don't panic, they make quite tasteful and less utilitarian mastectomy bras these days. They understand women want to look and feel good and just because you lose your breast, doesn't mean you can't still be sexy. About 6 months back I had a 70 year old patient, bilateral surgery, she chose breast forms a few sizes smaller to what she had been and said she looking forward to getting a leopard print and a lacy red bra for the first time! Her words: 'No more beige. New boobs, new bras!'."

Even though this particular breast form was silicone and lacked an areola, Olivia noted it felt as heavy and pliable as the real thing and had a small slightly raised circle moulded into it where the nipple would be. The reverse side had numerous little clear silicone adhesive contact spheres to allow the skin to still breathe when it made contact to the chest wall.

Noting Alex had gone completely silent, Liv asked the questions to hopefully get Alex to at least listen. "Why new bras? What's wrong with the ones Alex has now?"

"The thinner shoulder straps can contribute to lymphoedema, too much pressure in one small area. The straps need to be that little more wider to distribute the weight evenly to help prevent it, particularly for the first few months after surgery. Also the mastectomy bras have pockets in the bra cups so you can put the prosthetic inside there if you don't want it resting directly against your chest wall."

"What's lymphoedema? I've heard of it before, but don't know what it actually _is_ , other than it's obviously something to do with the lymph glands." Olivia prompted.

"You're correct with your assumption of it being connected to the lymph glands, lymphoedema is caused by a compromised lymphatic system and basically is a localised fluid retention and tissue swelling. Seeing I have to remove a couple of lymph nodes for testing, this is a  _possibility_  for Alex. You may have seen women with a single swollen arm out and about in the city, this is a possibility of occurring some time after a mastectomy, but usually after several lymph nodes have been removed. There is lymphatic massage that can help decrease the possibility of developing lymphoedema or compression bandages and garments. But let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. Surgery first, a soft filled breast form in the weeks after depending on how fast you heal, then a silicone one."

Olivia realised this was Alex's reality as she passed the breast prosthesis to the ADA.

"So this is my  _only_  option? A mastectomy?" Alex looked down at the breast form in her hand, wiping away an escaping tear with the other.

"As a surgeon, for me to recommend you having a mastectomy is  _not_  a decision I make lightly or flippantly. But it  _is_  the decision I've had to make for you as my patient."

"Can't I have... I don't know... breast reconstruction?" the blonde bartered, the pleading tone quite audible.

"For that to be a possibility, there has to be enough breast tissue to do so. Because you're small breasted in addition to the size of the lump, I'm sorry to say it's not an option in your case."

"Wonderful... just wonderful. I've been  _small_  breasted all my life, and now I get to be  _one_  breasted."

"You  _do_  have an advantage though. As I said earlier, there are pros and cons for each type of surgery. I had a  _very_  long recovery after surgery because I was much larger breasted than the prosthetics I wear now. Again, I don't want to speak out of turn, but Olivia would also have a longer recovery time if she were ever to have similar surgery too. Alex, your recovery time the surgery will be  _much_  shorter."

"Lucky me," murmured Alex under her breath as she handed the prosthetic breast back to Doctor Campbell.

* * *

The unmistakable noise of Alex's high heels against concrete was the only sound that broke the deafening silence between the 2 women, as they walked back to Alex's car in the hospital car park after the surgeon's appointment.

"Alex? Are you alright?" Liv asked, stopping a few feet from the vehicle.

"I'm  _fine_. Everything's  _fine_." Arms folded across her chest, Alex tried to brush past the brunette but was stopped when Liv reached her hand out and gently grasped her bicep.

"Don't bullshit to me, Alex. I've known you  _too_  long to know something's not right. Talk to me, tell me what you're thinking... what's going on in that mind of yours? You've barely spoken a word since you handed back the prosthetic breast form to Doctor Campbell... and that was almost 20 minutes ago."

Alex fought back the tears suddenly threatening to spill down her cheeks, "I just want to go home now, forget everything the surgeon said, and get on with my  _life_... what's  _left_  of it anyway."

"What's  _left_  of it?! Stage 1 is 95-98% survival, remember? That's  _best_  case scenario in my books. I don't even want to  _think_  what the survival rates are for the other stages... if you hadn't had that mammogram now, what stage would it be in 2 years time?"

The gravity of the situation was all too much for Alex to take and the tears finally overwhelmed her. Alex's body wracking sobs broke Olivia's heart and in an instant she wrapped her arms around the blonde's lithe frame and held her close for emotional support. A few tears pricked the detective's eyes as she continued to comfort the distraught younger woman, rubbing soothing lines up and down the ADA's back and gently stroking her blonde tresses. Liv didn't care that they were standing in the middle of a carpark, Alex needed her right now more than ever.

A long time passed before Alex mumbled something incoherent as her face was buried in the curve of Olivia's neck.

"Alex sweetie, I missed that."

Hiccuping a sob, Alex moved her head so that her chin was resting on Olivia's shoulder, "Who's going to want me?"

The brunette pulled back slightly, "What do you mean?"

"Liv, be honest with me... who's going to want me now?  _Who's_  going to want a one breasted woman in her forties that prefers the company of women, especially in the bedroom? I can't even keep the woman I had when I have  _both_ of my breasts? How the  _fuck_  am I going find someone to be with after all this is over when I have just one... and a  _fake_  one."

"Me... I would." Olivia's inner monologue correcting her reply with, 'I  _do_!  _I_  want you! I've wanted you for years, Alex.'

"You're just saying that because your my friend. You  _have_  to say things like that, you feel sorry for me and what's happened to me these last few days."

"Remember what Doctor Campbell said, she lost both her breasts and her husband. She found someone who loves her unconditionally after what happened, they'd loved her for some time. Now she's engaged to marry him."

"Seems I've  _never_  been fortunate to have found someone like that. Robert didn't  _really_  want me, he wanted the combination of old money, political power and a trophy wife that came back from the dead. Jim didn't even want me, he just wanted to sleep with his boss... which he successfully did. Abbie wanted kids, I waited too long and she went elsewhere. Noone's ever wanted me for me, now noone ever will because I won't  _be_  me. I won't even be a whole woman, I'll be what... three quarters, or maybe two thirds of a woman?"

"You think that's what makes you a woman, or makes you Alex Cabot? Your breasts? Now your sounding as shallow like the doctor's ex-husband. Your courage, your fortitude, your caring, your tenacity, your vivaciousness and your feistiness...  _that's_  what makes you Alex Cabot, not what's on your chest."

"Like I said, it not you getting chopped up. Forget it, you  _don't_  understand."

"So  _make_  me understand!"

For a long time Alex stayed silent, swiping away stray tears, unable or unwilling to explain.

Liv tried a different approach, "If the roles were reversed right now, would you be letting me think about not having the surgery?"

"Of course not!" Alex's eyes widened.

"Then why are you?"

Alex shrugged, "I guess it's different when it's yourself."

Olivia made sure she had the blonde's undivided attention before she spoke, "You listen to me. I would rather you be one breasted than  _dead_ , because that's the reality if you  _don't_  have the surgery. I  _already_ know what it's like to be under the assumption that your dead, that was 2 days too long in my books. I don't want you to die before you have to, I don't want that to happen for another 50 years! But if you don't have the surgery, it'd probably be more like 5 years! Now Alex, what's more important to you? Your life, or your breast?"

"My life." Alex whispered, her eyes downcast.

Olivia pressed a gentle kiss to Alex's cheek, "Right answer."


	5. Chapter 5

Still standing in the middle of the car park, Olivia placed her fingers under Alex's chin and gently raised the ADA's head, "Now, do you want to go back to Doctor Campbell and see if that surgery appointment for next Monday is still available?"

Alex shook her head, "No."

Olivia gave the blonde woman a highly unimpressed look, "Alex!"

"Next Monday, it's  _too_  soon. Maybe... maybe I'll see if there's one available in... in a few months time? Yeah. We... ahh... we have a  _lot_  of cases coming up, Liv. Quite important cases to prosecute! I _can't_ take time away with such short notice. That wouldn't be fair on the squad, or on  _Casey_!"

"I'm sure Mike Cutter would be able to get another ADA to fill in for you during your recovery and any subsequent treatment that you might have."

"Do you know how difficult it would be to bring another ADA up to date in such a short time on some of our pending cases?" Alex tried to justify.

"No, I don't. But the longer you leave the surgery, the more time that lump gets to grow."

"It's  _small_ , remember!  _Really_  tiny, if you think about it."

"I don't care if it's the size of a grain of rice, a chickpea or a grape! Do you have  _any_  idea how aggressive cancer can be? How aggressive  _this_  cancerous lump you have in your breast  _could_  be?"

"I know how aggressive  _you_  are right now!" Alex's sarcasm clearly evident in her tone, masking her true fear.

"I'm going to ignore that remark." Liv ran a hand though her hair, letting out a frustrated sigh, "Damnit Alex, it could grow or maybe even metastasize in the few months you put it off. I can't believe your even considering not having the surgery. Aren't you the same woman that not 2 days ago was  _berating_  me for not having a mammogram or a recent pap smear? Saying these things were  _important_?"

The blonde avoided eye contact, "Yes."

"So why are you being like this? This surgery is important! This surgery will save your life!"

Alex snapped, "You want to know  _why_? I'm  _scared_ , Olivia! Actually, terrified would be a better descriptive. I'm  _terrified_  to have the surgery!"

Liv softened her voice, "I don't blame you, it's major surgery. But I'm  _terrified_  of what will happen to  _you_  if you  _don't_  have the surgery!"

"It's not  _just_  the cancer. I'm also terrified... because..." the ADA trailed off.

"Because?" Liv prompted.

Tears began to escape Alex's eyes again, "Because the last time I was a patient in a hospital having surgery, I died!"

"Oh sweetheart, you're  _not_  going to die in hospital." Olivia started to wipe the tears sliding down Alex's cheeks with her thumbs while cradling her cheeks.

"I died on the operating table, Olivia! They told me I'd died when I woke up. That's why it was so easy for the doctors to inform you that had died before I found out I'd entered WPP, because I actually  _did_  die for a time."

" _Completely_  different circumstances this time. It's not a gun shot wound and you won't bleed out like back then. You just said they told you that you died when you  _woke up_." Olivia placed her hand over Alex's heart, "You feel that? Your heart beating and pumping blood? You  _lived_! You're  _alive_  now! You  _won't_  die  _having_  the surgery, but you  _will_  die if you  _don't_  have the surgery."

Alex placed her hand on top of Olivia's for a moment before wiping away a stray tear, "I _don't_  want to die in hospital again. I don't want to be alone in there."

Liv moved her hand away, "You  _won't_  be alone. I'll take the entire day off the day of your surgery, and I'll be there with you right up until you're wheeled into theatre. I won't even leave the hospital... I'll wait for you during the surgery and be there the moment you're out of surgery. I'll be the first face you see when you wake up. I'm your medical proxy, remember. I can be there with you."

"I can't ask you to do all that. You have work."

"You don't have to ask, I've offered and already decided I will. Now, do I have to threaten you with my medical proxy power to overrule your decision and  _make_  you have the surgery?"

Shaking her head Alex said reluctantly, "No... I'll have the surgery."

"Good," Liv smiled and took Alex's hand in her own. "Come on."

Alex was puzzled as Olivia began to lead them both away from the car, "Where are we going?"

"Back to see Doctor Campbell."

* * *

Reentering the specialist surgeon suite within Mount Sinai hospital, Alex and Olivia saw Doctor Campbell ushering a visibly upset and frightened younger woman and gentleman towards her office. She indicated for the young couple to take a seat inside and informed them she would be with them in just a few minutes.

As Doctor Campbell approached, Alex opened her mouth to speak but realised she couldn't voice what she needed to. She chanced a quick look at Olivia for support. The detective gave a minute nod of her head to indicate she understood what Alex needed help with.

"I was getting worried I wouldn't see you ladies again," Doctor Marie Campbell gave a kind smile. "Or that Alex might have opted for a lumpectomy with another surgeon."

"We just needed to take some time and talk a few things over. Our concerns and worries... fears." Olivia explained.

"That's good. Communication is very important during this time."

"We would like to know if that surgical appointment for next Monday morning still available for Alex?"

"Yes, it is. Would you like to book in for the surgery?"

"No." Alex instantly replied with a whisper.

Olivia confirmed with a gentle reassuring squeeze to Alex's hand, "Yes, we would."

Alex reconfirmed Olivia's words with a hint of hesitance, "Yes... I would." She took a deep breath to build her courage, "I  _will_."

"I'm glad to hear. Karen, my receptionist over there... she'll book you in for next Monday and give you the information pamphlets that will help you prepare for your procedure. It'll help answer any questions you might have before the surgery and what to expect, even though it never really prepares you for the reality. I know it's a difficult surgery to have, physically and emotionally, but you've made the  _right_ choice Alex. I'll see you both in 10 days just before the surgery. Now, if you ladies will excuse me, I have a new patient to see."

* * *

"Thankyou Olivia," Alex turned to face the brunette as they exited the elevator returning them back to the hospital car park.

"What for?"

"For making me see sense... helping me make the correct decision," Alex indicated the manila folder containing the paperwork and pamphlets in her hand. "A  _very_  scary decision, but the right decision nonetheless. I don't think Abbie would've given me that reality check like you did. She would've just let me make my decision and gone with whatever I chose... and I  _think_  my decision would have been very wrong. I mean, I  _know_  my decision was wrong."

"That's what friends do... what people who  _really_  care about you do."

"Serena's really lucky to have someone like you... even if she's just your Ms Right Now." Alex lamented.

"Yeah, lucky me." Olivia changed the subject, "Hey! You want to grab early dinner or something?"

"I would, but I'd also like to go over these pamphlets with you... if that's alright? So we both understand what's going to happen."

"I think that's a really smart idea. So, take out again?"

"I love the way you think. How about Greek?"

* * *

Upon entering the lobby of Alex's apartment building, Alex and Olivia could hear quite a loud commotion.

"Aww,  _c'mon_  Gregory! Let me up there!"

"I'm sorry, I _can't_  allow it. I must insist you leave."

Abbie.

"You're  _honestly_  telling me she took my name off the list?! I've been staying here most of the time for the last 2 years! I have a  _key_!"

"Ms Carmichael, I'm just following my instructions. I don't want to have to say this but if you don't remove yourself from these premises promptly, I will call the police and have you arrested for trespassing."

Running a hand through her long raven locks, Abbie turned to leave but immediately spied the SVU ladies approaching side by side.

"Do we have a problem here, Gregory?" Liv called out, easily slipping in to police mode.

"I hope not, Detective Benson. I've asked Ms Carmichael to leave, as per my instructions. But if you need to physically escort her I will get additional security if necessary."

"Hopefully it  _won't_  come to that." Liv glared, her hand resting on the small of Alex's back reassuringly as Alex gripped her attaché case tightly with both hands.

Abbie smirked, "Well, well, well. Looks like I  _was_  right all along,  _Alexandra_. You couldn't keep away from Olivia. So you  _have_  been seeing her behind my back."

"3 days ago I would have been denying having an affair with Olivia...  _yet again_! But the bullshit you just spewed makes you look even more pathetic,  _Abigail_.  _You're_  the one that's been having the affair, FOR THE LAST YEAR!  _You_  admitted it! Or has your short term memory suddenly been affected by the truth?"

"Maybe too much sex made me forget?" shrugged Abbie. "Well, you know what they say... sometimes you gotta go elsewhere when you don't get what you want."

Alex gave a patented icy glare she reserve for the court room, "WHAT DO YOU WANT, CARMICHAEL?"

"Calm your pretty titties, Cabot! I  _just_  want my stuff... and maybe have a little talk  _privately_?" Abbie said in her husky Texan drawl.

Olivia saw the look of pain flash across the blonde's features at the quite unintentional, but now very cruel and hurtful jibe.

"You  _wait_  here. I'll go and send down the boxes down in the elevator, and then you can  _leave_. I have  _nothing_  to talk to you about." Alex approached the elevator, Abbie following a few steps behind.

As Gregory pressed the elevator button for the ADA then discreetly move some steps away, Abbie took a step closer invading Alex's personal space as she waited. "Aww, I  _can_  help you...  _Princess_. We don't have to be...  _estranged_ , we can still be...  _friendly_. Despite what you might think of me, I  _do_  still care about you."

For a few moments, Alex's resolve waivered and she became lost in the eyes of the Texan. Those dark brown eyes, that healthy tan, the raven hair tousled just so, those adorable dimples and that chiseled jawline. The spell was broken when Alex saw Olivia approaching in her peripheral vision.

"You have a  _funny_  way of showing it. People who truly care about those they love... they  _don't_  cheat, they  _don't_  lie and they  _don't_  falsely accuse the other of infidelity. You wanted out, so you're gone. Let me move on with  _my_  life now, you obviously have with  _yours_."

"You know, we were  _good_  together... you and me. I don't know if  _anyone_  would love you as much I do." Abbie reached out and cradled Alex's left cheek, which the blonde unconsciously leant in to. "I love your eyes... and that pouty little mouth of yours is  _so_  kissable..." she brushed her thumb across Alex's lips, the timbre of her Texan drawl becoming even lower and huskier, "... I love your beautiful body... your long legs wrapped around my waist while I was wearing...  _King Dong_... I loved making you orgasm just by making love to your breasts with my mouth,  _especially_  the extra sensitive left one..." The Texan's hand trailed down the column of her neck to brush over Alex's left breast, "... We both did,  _Princess_."

Tears pricking her eyes, Alex slapped Abbie's hand away, entered the elevator and pressed the button to close the door before bursting into tears.

* * *

Olivia spun Abbie around to face her, "What the  _hell_  did you say to Alex?"

"Not that it's any of  _your_  business, but we were just reminiscing about  _our_  sex life."

"Mustn't have been a very good memory then if you made Alex cry."

Ignoring the retort, Abbie asked "By the way  _Liv_ , how's  _yours_  with 'Rena? Satisfying?"

"None of  _your_  business or concern,  _Abs_." Olivia replied, not taking the deliberate attempt to goad her.

"Funny, from what I hear it's kind of...  _lacking_. A woman like 'Rena, she'll look elsewhere if she's not...  _completely satisfied_."

Again, Olivia wouldn't take the bait Abbie was chumming. "You speaking from your own  _personal_  experience with her, Carmichael? That's why  _she_  broke up with  _you_  in DC? You couldn't satisfy her, and you came scurrying back to New York with your tail between your legs? I know  _all_  about  _that_."

Abbie just grinned slyly, eyeing Olivia up and down. "Tell me Benson, why didn't we ever get together all those years ago when I was at SVU?"

"Just like yourself, brunettes and ravens do nothing for me. We both prefer blondes."

"Ahh, that's right!  _Blondes_...  _strawberry blondes_... they're all really good in bed," Abbie said.

Olivia asked the burning question, "So who have you been cheating with?"

"None of your concern! But you're the detective,  _Detective_.  _You_  figure it out."

Little did either woman know that by next Saturday night at the Rainbow Shamrock, who that was would be discovered.

* * *

Angrily swiping away her tears, Alex grabbed 3 different glass bottles of fountain pen ink: a black, a red and a blue from her office desk, then returned to the 4 boxes. Unscrewing the lids, she liberally poured most of the contents of each bottle over the clothes, rescrewed the bottle lids back on askew, hid the bottles in amongst the ruined clothes then placed some unstained clothes on top before sealing the boxes with tape. She didn't care if it was childish or petty. She contemplated sawing off the head from the harnessed dildo with a serrated kitchen knife but instead grabbed the kitchen pepper shaker and dumped the contents in the box with the ornaments and various sex toys. Taping the box shut, she gave the large box a violent but satisfying shake, hearing some contents break while being coated in finely ground pepper.

She sent a quick text to Olivia to say that the boxes were on their way down to the lobby via the elevator and to come up when Abbie had gone.

Alex would take Olivia's advice and seek true revenge by moving on with her life from Abbie Carmichael, finding someone that would love her unconditionally... even if she would be single breasted.


	6. Chapter 6

"You gonna help me, Benson?" Abbie asked as the elevator doors slid open to reveal the 4 boxes.

Arms folded, Olivia leant against the wall nonchalantly while watching Abbie struggle to move the boxes and hold the doors open, "Nope! I only help people I care about, Carmichael."

Abbie smirked as she stood back up, "That's why you were always sniffing around Alex in the background, like a little puppy... mooning over her... pining after her... hoping that she'd notice you and your shiny shield? You  _care_  about her, and you  _love_  her.  _D'aww_!... I think I'm gonna  _vomit_."

"You obviously  _don't_  care about her, or love her for that matter."

"Of course I love her... especially in the bedroom!"

"I get it. You love Alex, but you're not  _in love_  with her."

"That's  _your_  interpretation, not mine. Maybe I love different women in different ways? All I know is that  _I_  asked Alex out and had her in  _my_  bed on the first date. Unlike yourself... the woman who's known her for years and  _never_  made a move on her. How...  _noble_... of you," the raven haired woman continued to struggle with each box. "I saw the looks  _you_  constantly gave her, even when Alex was completely _oblivious_  to them seeing she's so besotted with  _me_."

"Some of us don't see a person as just a bedtime conquest, like  _you_  seem to do."

"Well unlike  _you_ , I conquered her all the time. Several times a day in fact... until she wouldn't give me what I wanted, so I went elsewhere. Now I get what I want, when I want. But I bet you anything that she'll ask ' _us'_  for another chance because she loves  _me_  and can't live without  _me_ , so I'll take her back when she finally does. I think I quite like the thought of Alex being  _my_  mistress."

Olivia shook her head in disgust, "Yeah, I can see you  _really_  loved Alex. You're not even ashamed of what you did by cheating on her. Real classy. All she ever wanted and wants is to be loved for who she is."

"What's  _not_  to love about her, she's drop dead gorgeous! Especially in lacy lingerie, garter belt and thigh highs. I'm getting all hot and bothered just remembering it, whereas you can only imagine it."

"Some of us see more than just looks,  _Abigail_. Some of us see everything about a person."

"Ah, I've seen  _everything_  of her,  _Olivia_. I know  _all_  Alex's likes and dislikes, the adorably cute little noises and nuances she makes and does in the bedroom. And even though I love her, she's kinda just sloppy seconds now. Huh, seems  _you_  like my sloppy seconds,  _Liv_."

" _Sloppy_   _seconds_ ,  _Abs_?! It's so nice to see how you  _really_  talk about the woman you say you supposedly love, the woman who  _you_  left just because she wouldn't have the child  _you_  wanted when  _you_  wanted them."

"Oh good lord, is she still going on about having brats?! I  _never_  wanted a child, that's  _her_  damn delusion, not mine!" Abbie sneered as she moved the final box out of the elevator.

Liv was taken aback. Alex had said that Abbie ended their relationship because Abbie wanted children but Alex kept putting it off. Why would Alex say otherwise? Her train of thought was interrupted when Abbie's cell phone rang, "Hey there,  _Hunny Bunny_!... ...Yeah, I'll be there soon. I'm just getting my stuff from  _her_... ... and I wuv you too,  _Cutie Patootie_!"

Olivia tried her best not to snort, gag or throw up in her mouth a little at the sheer syrupy sweetness dripping from Abbie's tone. She knew Abbie was just trying to get a reaction and Olivia wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

" _Benson_ , I'd  _love_  to stay and continue talking to you, but I got a  _lover_  waiting for me!" Abbie grinned, slipping her phone back in to her pocket. "Say hi to ' _Rena_  for me when you next see her!"

"I only have one question,  _Carmichael_. How do  _you_  know that who you've been cheating with isn't one of my... cast-offs?" Olivia fished again.

Abbie's proud grin melted away as Olivia turned to face her, "S-she would've told me."

"Would she?" One of Olivia's eyebrows raised in curiosity, the seed of doubt already planted.

"Y-yes," the federal prosecutor tried to sound confident. "Yes. We have no secrets between us. We're very open in our relationship."

" _Oh no_! Now you're  _not_  so sure, are you?" Liv mocked as she entered the elevator. "Tell me who, I'll be able to put your mind at ease."

Dimples appeared as the Texan chuckled, "It just irks you not knowing, doesn't it?"

"Truth be told, I couldn't give a damn who you're screwing or fucking, just like I don't give a damn about  _you_." Olivia pressed the button for Alex's level, then addressed the older gentleman hovering near by. "Gregory, make sure this  _trespasser_  is removed promptly from the premises. Any troubles, let me know via Ms Cabot's intercom."

* * *

Alex asked as she let Olivia inside her apartment, "What took you so long? I've already ordered dinner for us."

"I made sure Abbie didn't try and sneak back up to see you... to try and upset you any further than she did."

"You saw that?" she avoided eye contact with the detective while she approached the kitchen.

"Kind of difficult not to, Alex."

"I don't think she meant to upset me like she did. She just..." the blonde sighed heavily, "Abbie reminded me of something... something that'll  _never_  happen again, while telling me that she still loves me even though she cheated on me."

Liv spoke from the heart, " _Don't_  make excuses for her. A person who  _truly_  loves someone... they'd  _never_  make the other person cry, unless it was through laughter or tears of happiness and joy. Someone who truly loves  _you_ , they'd be the one to wipe away your tears and comfort you though the darkness and sad times. And if they  _did_  happen make you cry, that person who loves you would find out what they had done to make you so upset and fix it. That's what someone who  _truly_  loves you does, and Abigail Carmichael  _doesn't_."

"You're quite a wise woman, Olivia." Alex replied softly, "Why hasn't anyone snapped you up yet?"

"Still waiting for my Ms Right if you've forgotten. Now why did Abbie make you cry?"

"I told you, she just reminded me of something that'll never happen to me again," lamented the blonde as she poured a glass of wine for each of them from the already open bottle.

Olivia stood on the other side of the bench, "What was it?"

Alex passed over the half filled glass of merlot, "It  _doesn't_  matter."

"It does to  _me_."

"Can we  _please_  just drop it?" begged Alex.

Olivia took a small sip before continuing, "If I can help-"

"You  _can't_  help."

"I can try."

"Trust me, you  _can't_!" Alex drank her wine in one large gulp before refilling it.

"Alex, please!"

"Olivia, when a woman makes love to my left breast with her mouth I can orgasm,  _alright_!" blurted Alex, before covering her mouth in embarrassment.

"OH!" That wasn't what Olivia had expected Alex to reveal, "Oh."

"I can't believe I just  _told_  you that," Alex unconsciously adjusted her glasses with her left hand and cleared her throat. "Like I  _said_ , Abbie unintentionally reminded me that it'll  _never_  happen again after next Monday."

The brunette broke the heavy, tense silence lingering between the both of them, "Wha-what about the other one?"

"Excuse me?" The ADA raised her eyebrow in surprise.

Olivia vaguely indicated Alex's upper body with a wave of her hand, "What about your... ahh... right breast? C-can the same thing happen with the right one?"

"LIV!"

"What?!"

"I  _can't_  believe you just  _asked_  that! I  _can't_  believe we're even having this awkward conversation!"

Olivia backpedaled, "P _lease_  don't take this the wrong way, Alex... but I'm very impressed, and quite frankly a little jealous of your...  _talent_. I can't say it's ever happened to me... not even close."

"It's... umm... certainly... hmm... pleasant... and, ahh... breathtaking... as you can probably imagine." Alex cleared her throat again, "And to answer your question: no, it's never happened with my right breast. Just the left one is... extra sensitive for me. I'll be even more sad to lose 'her' now after being reminded. As I told you, it's been a while since Abbie and I were... intimate."

Liv nodded her understanding, "Maybe... you just haven't found the  _right_  girl... for your  _right_  'girl'." The detective waggled her eyebrows suggestively, "Right,  _girl_?"

Alex couldn't help but giggle, finally breaking the tension. "You're a stupid ass, Olivia Benson!"

It made Olivia's heart soar when she heard Alex laugh. She would do anything she could to hear Alex laugh like that all the time, even if it resulted in being called a 'stupid ass'.

* * *

Once again sitting on the floor at the coffee table, Alex and Olivia were eating the last of their Greek mixed entrée platter for 2 as they perused the mastectomy surgery pamphlets. One explained the items needed for the surgery after care including the post operative mastectomy compression bra or camisole; a crescent pillow so that the upper arm didn't press against the surgery site nor the safety belt while driving; what clothes would be the easiest for the patient to wear including button down shirts. Another small booklet explained simple exercises to do in the days following the surgery. The one Alex was looking at was regarding the surgery itself, following the journey of a patient from surgery to recovery and beyond.

"It's quite confronting, isn't it?" Alex indicated an image of a modified radical mastectomy patient immediately after surgery. With the face blocked out to protect the privacy of the patient, the image showed a woman with a sutured incision where her right breast had been, from the centre of her sternum, across her thorax to under her axilla. In layman's terms: from the centre of her breastbone, across her chest to under her armpit. There were 2 bulb drains collecting fluids, each held in place by a single suture. One was located under the armpit, the other underneath where her breast had been.

The next image had been taken 24 hours later. The bruising on the thorax was significant even with the use of ice packs across the now waterproof wound dressed sutures. The bulb drains were half full, even though the text near the image said the bulbs had been emptied 8 hours earlier.

And so the images continued. 48 hours, 72 hours, 96 hours. At the 1 week mark, the drains had been removed, as had the waterproof dressing across the sutured wound. A vast majority of the bruising had changed to hues of yellow and very faint purples in certain areas. At the 10 day mark, there would be a followup consultation with the surgeon. At this point, the pamphlet text read, that scar creams or gels could be applied now.

There were a few more photos at different time intervals 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 3 months, 6 months and so forth showing the scar slowly fading from pink to be a few shades lighter than the woman's skin tone. The last image had been taken 2 years after the patient's surgery, and showed that the woman had opted to have a large hibiscus and a pink ribbon scroll curved above the flower with the word 'Survivor' inside the scroll, tattooed on her chest to cover her surgery scar.

"It certainly is. I'm not so sure about the tattoo though," Liv said while indicating the last image.

"You don't like tattoos?" Alex asked, genuinely curious.

"It's not that I don't like them..." Olivia trailed off.

"I'm sensing a 'but' coming up in your explanation."

"I hope this doesn't sound wrong or judgmental, because I don't want it to be...but, I guess I don't see why someone would  _want_  to do that to their body."

Alex rebutted, "Elliott has the US Marines logo and the crucifixion of Christ. They obviously have a very significant meaning for him to wear them permanently."

"I know and I  _can_  understand why that patient chose to get a tattoo over her surgery site. It's hard to explain... Maybe I should've just said that tattoos aren't for  _me_."

"Well, you don't have to get one then!" the blonde lightheartedly teased. "Although, I think a small tasteful one that could be hidden would look good on you."

"No. Like I said, it's  _not_  for me." Liv asked, "Would  _you_  get something like that done?"

Alex shrugged noncommittally while popping the last bite of the dolma in her mouth, "Looks like I have 2 years to think about it."

"Seriously?! I can't imagine  _you_  having a tattoo."

The blonde didn't say a word as she gathered up the small platter from the coffee table to take to the kitchen. She returned with a cruet set and wooden chopping board with the main meal platter for 2 that had been keeping warm in the oven, then Alex sat back down next to the detective.

"Sweetie, you haven't got any pepper left in the shaker." Olivia held up an empty, small condiment pot.

A devilish grin slowly settled on Alex's mouth as stood up, grabbed the pepper grinder off the formal dining table and handed it to Liv.

"What did you do?" Liv asked as Alex sat down again.

Trying desperately to keep a straight face, a small giggle from the ADA slowly built to full throaty laugh before tears leaked from her eyes, her hands holding her stomach.

* * *

Opening the door, Abbie gave a cheeky dimpled smile. "I'm free, Hunny Bunny! Free from the _Ice Princess_!"

"You mean the Chairwoman of the  _Itty Bitty Titty Committee_?"

Abbie snorted, "More like the Ice Queen with her damn missionary position vanilla sex. Not an adventurous bone or muscle in her body. She's obviously still hung up on me though. I reminded her of what she's gonna miss and she burst in to tears. Kinda pathetic if you think about it.  _Oblivious_  is being all protective and charming, as expected."

"Urgh! Don't want to hear about  _either_  of them any more. It'll ruin the mood we're setting."

"I've missed you  _so_  much! Bedroom, now!" Abbie growled.

"Did you bring... King Dong?"

Abbie gave a naughty wink, "One of the boxes here, my Cutie Patootie!"

"Then we'd better go find him!"

The raven haired woman was swiftly pulled inside the apartment along with the 4 boxes.


	7. Chapter 7

"You  _what_?! I  _don't_  believe you!" Olivia burst out laughing at Alex's forthcoming admission.

"Yes, that  _whole_  shaker of pepper in the box with the sex toys!" Alex chuckled, indicating the empty shaker Olivia had returned to the cruet holder. She continued to laugh heartily as she clutched her stomach and wiped away a stray tear. She hadn't laughed this much since... she couldn't even remember anything recent, except when the both of them had gotten drunk 2 days earlier and Alex revealed to Olivia about Abbie's name for the harnessed dildo. All she could remember in recent times was trying to placate Abbie's constant and unfounded accusations of infidelity; the sadness of why Abbie would think she'd cheat again just because the ADA had done that once before; and the desperation she felt trying to salvage her crumbling relationship with the Federal Prosecutor, even going so far as to withdraw from interacting with certain people apart from the essentials of work.

Correction.

A  _certain_  person to be specific.

Looking back, Alex had forgotten how well she and Olivia got on together outside of work. Her romantic focus shifted away from any possibility with the brunette detective 2 years earlier when the seductively charming Abigail Carmichael with her husky Texan drawl swept her off her feet at Elliott Stabler's retirement party after Olivia had introduced them. She had even thanked Liv many a time for doing so after they began to date.

They had  _almost_  tumbled in to bed on their first date with Abbie's persuasive coersion, but both had agreed to take things slowly after Alex had said it'd been a while since she'd been in a relationship with anyone (let alone a woman) and Abbie admitting she had ended one with Serena Southerlyn a short time earlier. Both had said they wanted the relationship to go the distance and survive every hurdle thrown at them. It was just over 2 months before they were finally intimate in the bedroom and Abbie discovered Alex's... as Olivia put it...  _talent_. The raven haired prosecutor couldn't get enough of the ADA after that. When Abbie had to travel back to the nation's capital each month and every month, the couple certainly made up for absence when the Federal Prosecutor returned. Sometimes Abigail was only away a few nights, sometimes it was up to a week. A year into their relationship, Abbie broached the subject of them having children, wanting to become a family of 3, after a passionate round of love making. Alex's response of wanting to wait to have children was met with disappointment but acceptance. Again, Abbie brought the subject up a few more times but stopped completely after that dinner Casey Novak organised 6 months ago. Olivia had really only just started casually dating Serena, and then Abbie started with the barrage of insinuations and innuendos.

What had really happened a year earlier to change Abbie's attitude and start cheating?

Just what had really happened at that dinner of the 5 woman to change Alex and Abbie's relationship so dramatically?

Casey had left the lounge room to check on dinner and get everyone drinks. Serena offered to help, as did Abbie saying she knew how Alex preferred her gin and tonic to be prepared (a little more gin, a little less tonic, extra lime, crushed ice), leaving Alex and Olivia alone on the couches to chat. After some time had passed, both wondered what was taking so long. Just as they approached the kitchen swinging doors, Serena reappeared with her and Olivia's drink, followed by Abbie with her and Alex's drink, with Casey exiting last. Olivia joked about how long they'd taken, saying she and Alex were about to send out a search party. Abbie had brushed off the delay saying Casey had needed a helping hand with dessert... just kidding! She needed help making the red wine reduction sauce for the filet mignon and both she and Serena helped.

Returning home to Alex's apartment, Abbie made a offhand remark about how long it took for Alex and Olivia to come looking for her, Serena and Casey, and maybe something happened between the ADA and he detective while they'd been alone in the lounge for so long. Of course Alex denied it, nothing had happened. Abbie said she saw how Olivia kept sneaking glances at Alex, Alex said she hadn't noticed because she only had eyes for Abbie and besides Olivia was dating Serena and joked if anything she should be afraid of Serena seeing as Abbie had been in a relationship the ACLU worker once before. Abbie said she would  _never_  cheat, but Alex on the other hand,  _had_. How could she trust a  _known_  cheater, and she didn't trust Olivia either. Alex said she would do anything to placate the raven haired woman she loved, and the Texan suggested to have no more contact with the brunette. Alex said that would be difficult seeing they worked together at SVU, so Abbie said no contact outside work and as minimal contact at work as necessary. Even thought they had been friends since Alex was originally assigned after the Morris Commission, Alex began to distance herself from Olivia, effectively breaking the blonde's spirit. Abbie came to see Alex at work sometimes, always taking time to say hello and chat to Casey who's office was only a few doors down. However, if Abbie saw Olivia anywhere in the vacinity because of work, the questions and accusations started, resulting in Alex denying any wrongdoing and the vicious cycle beginning once again.

Until 2 days ago as they prepared to go their separate ways to work, Abbie abruptly ended their seemingly strong relationship. When Alex asked for an explanation why, the truth came out about the year long affair, shocking the ADA to say the least especially after the constant badgering of the non existent affair, but now it made sense. Then the fateful telephone call from the breast screening centre regarding Alex's mammogram, ultrasound, biopsy and fine needle aspiration results came around lunchtime.

Now, even after the way she had treated the detective the last 6 months, Alex was truly glad Olivia was such a caring, supportive friend to have in her corner.

" _And_  a different bottle of ink in each box of clothing too!" the ADA snickered, a devilish smile curling the corners of her mouth.

Olivia's jaw dropped in awe, "Are you sure you're  _really_  Alex Cabot? I'm positive Alex Cabot doesn't have a  _naughty_  bone in her body."

Alex raised an eyebrow at the brunette as she leant in closer to Liv's personal space, "Don't I? I think I  _might_  surprise you in more ways than one."

"I always assumed you'd be one of those... good girls."

"Maybe  _different_  people bring out  _different_  things in me. Maybe  _you_  bring out something else in me entirely?" Alex suggested, the hint of flirtation clearly evident. She knew she shouldn't be flirting, Olivia was with Serena after all, even if the ACLU lawyer wasn't Olivia's Ms Right. However, the chemistry between the 2 women sitting on the floor was undeniable.

"Maybe one day I'll be lucky enough to find out more?" Liv flirted back, leaning in a little closer. "Maybe  _you_  could be  _my_  Ms Right?"

"I could very well be," blue eyes glanced down at the detective's parted lips. "Maybe  _you_  could be the  _right_  girl for my  _right_  'girl'?"

"Right, girl!" Olivia breathed, leaning in even closer.

This time they weren't drunk on 2 bottles of wine, they weren't even all the way through the first bottle. Both had their mental faculties about them, and were well aware of their actions as Alex closed the gap and brushed her soft lips delicately against the older woman's, tasting the subtle aromatic hints of the merlot that lingered. Olivia rested her hand on Alex's thigh as she gently deepened the kiss, neither woman attempting to dominate as their mouths slid together, over and over again. As their tongues eventually came into contact, Alex immediately pulled back in remorse and began to apologise profusely, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Olivia! That's the second time I've kissed you in the last few days and I shouldn't have done so either time."

"It's alright," Olivia reassured the ADA, her thumb rubbing back and forth on Alex's thigh.

"No! It's  _not_! You're seeing Serena and I'm proving Abbie right by kissing you...  _You're_  not a cheater but I am, and  _I'm_  tempting you to become one."

"If you hadn't noticed, I was a willing participant kissing you...  _both_  times." Olivia's mind encouraging her, 'Nice big hint there Benson, but damnit, just tell her how you really feel.'

Alex brushed aside the comment, too guilty to fully comprehend what Olivia had just admitted. "Still doesn't make it right. Serena deserves better than me throwing myself at you."

"You're right, Serena does deserve better. She deserves someone that  _truly_  loves her, and I'm not that woman." The detective's inner thoughts screaming, 'Because I love  _you_!'

"I don't deserve  _anyone_. Looks like I got what was coming to me. I cheated on Robert, and I got cheated on by Abbie... I really deserve what  _I_  got."

"I'm... I'm not following, Alex." Liv hesitated. 'Yep, just like every other time. You have no qualms busting a perp, but you're too scared to tell her. Such a coward!'

"Someone up there is punishing me," Alex pointed skywards, tears silently trickling down her cheeks. "I deserve everything that's being thrown at me right now. I deserve to have breast cancer."

"Wait, what?! Deserve?! Stop thinking like that right now, Alex! Noone and I mean  _noone_  deserves cancer, especially you! As much as I dislike Abbie after what she did..." mentally adding 'and what she said in the lobby', "...not even  _she_  deserves cancer. I wouldn't even wish cancer, any type of cancer, on my worst enemy." Keeping her hand on Alex's thigh, Olivia moved her other hand up to wipe away the blonde's tears.

Alex attempted to fight back the tears that overwhelmed her as Olivia kept thumbing them away, "It just feels like... everything in my life right now... has gone wrong... and I need to blame someone... and the easiest person to blame... is myself."

"It's not your fault, sweetie. None of this is your fault."

"Do you think it could get any worse... than what's happened so far?"

"Well... they say these kind of things happen in threes."

"So something else... is bound to happen... before things get better?"

"Probably, but let's hope not."

Olivia continued to comfort Alex for quite some time, reassuring her that her breast cancer wasn't punishment from a higher deity or her fault because of past misjudgements or indiscretions. It was just a mutation in her cells in her breast and nothing more. Eventually, Alex shifted back so they were sitting side by side once again, with the ADA resting her head on Olivia's shoulder and Olivia's arm wrapped across Alex's back and waist holding her the little more closer. They continued to sit on the floor for some time, relishing the close contact and each other's company in their individual, yet very similar way. Both reflecting on what had transpired over the last couple of days and hours in comfortable silence.

Neither woman knew that 'number 3' would be revealed at the Rainbow Shamrock, 8 days later.

* * *

"He's...  _ACHOO!_... ruined! Look at...  _ACHOO!_... just look at him!" Abbie sneezed and sobbed while she held the harnessed dildo aloft. Entirely covered in finely ground pepper, a few shards of glass from a photo frame had imbedded along the realistic flesh coloured shaft and several cuts were quite visible on the silicone phallus, particularly even more visible now seeing they were filled with the dark powdery spice.

"Is he salvageable?"

"Cutie, I don't think we should try...  _ACHOO!_... Even with a flavoured condom on him like usual. And the leather harness... I don't want to burn any lady parts!"

"Can you get another one?"

"They don't make this particular model any more! King Dong was a limited edition dildo!" wailed Abbie.

"King Dong the dildo's dead."

Abbie rolled her eyes, "Not...  _ACHOO!_... funny, Hunny!"

"Well, you know we both quite like...  _au naturel_  too."

Abbie dropped the harness, stuck out her tongue suggestively and wiggled her 2 fingers in a beckoning, come hither matter. "I know you do!"

* * *

The next day, Saturday, Olivia was meant to catch up with Serena as per the text received when Alex revealed about the breakup and cancer, but being a detective with the NYPD, nothing went to plan. A case regarding a serial rape/murderer came to light in the early hours of Saturday morning that kept the whole SVU squad working diligently the next 7 days. Olivia had sent an apologetic text to Serena, mentioning they needed to talk face to face soon. The SVU detective knew she could break up with the ACLU lawyer over the phone or text, but she thought Serena deserved to be told in person. Olivia had checked in with Alex a few times each day, but Alex had been just as busy during the week preparing for her upcoming surgery. She had informed Mike Cutter on the same Saturday, immediately requesting a minimum of 8 weeks for surgery and recovery with a possibility of extension depending on what the outcome would be of the surgery. She requested that noone would know why she was taking time off, saying if anyone asked it was for personal reasons, which Mike agreed to. Alex had spent the week tidying up her cases and all of Friday bringing her replacement, ADA Rafael Barba, up to speed on each case. Olivia had been granted all day Monday off by Captain Cragen to be there with Alex for her surgery. Don promised to keep Alex's breast cancer under wraps from the squad until such time Alex was ready to tell people. He was aware that only Alex, Olivia, Mike and himself were the only ones privy to the information, apart from Alex's doctor, surgeon and oncologist.

One thing that still hadn't tidied up until now, the Friday afternoon just 3 days out from Alex's surgery, was the engagement ring she had been paying off. Olivia accompanied Alex to the jewellery store after Alex decided to have the engagement ring remade to something else, explaining to the jeweller that she and Abbie weren't ready for marriage right now, but she wouldn't renege on the purchase.

Olivia's eyes nearly fell out of her head when she saw the 2 carat pear shape pink diamond with a carat of pavé set white diamonds around the entire band in lustrous platinum. She didn't even think a year's worth of her detective's salary would come even close to paying for the ring Alex had intended to give Abbie, maybe even 2 years. Alex explained to the jeweller that she wanted the stones from the ring made in to a pendant, the pink diamond to feature and the white diamonds to now surround the rare gem in the form of an upside down ribbon. The platinum in the ring would be used to make the new surround and Alex was now looking at different necklace chain links styles to finish.

"Seems you and Ms Carmichael are ones for new necklaces right now, Ms Cabot." Jean-Paul, the elderly jeweller commented as he sketched the design for Alex.

Both Alex and Olivia's curiosity were piqued at that statement, "Oh?"

"Yes, Ms Carmichael has a necklace getting made... Oh dear, I hope I haven't spoiled a surprise for you."

Alex lied, "No! Abigail told me she was getting one made, but she won't tell me what it looks like. Do you think I could sneak a look at your design? Please?"

"I shouldn't."

"But I know you will for me, Jean-Paul." Alex charmed the older man.

"Just for you, Ms Cabot! But please act surprised when you see it."

"I certainly will! Don't worry about that!" Alex eased the jeweller's concern.

The elderly man disappeared out the back for a few moments before reappearing with a coloured sketch which he passed over to Alex and Olivia. It was a 3 drop bezel set pendant with cabochon stones all the same size. Alex noted the different stones were reddish orange stone, a purple stone and a blue stone set in yellow gold. "What stones are these?"

"That's a Carnelian, an Amethyst and a Sapphire. Ms Carmichael specifically chose those stones for the necklace." Jean-Paul said as he resumed sketching Alex's redesign.

Olivia whispered in Alex's ear, "Carnelian, Amethyst, Sapphire... C-A-S. Casey. It's Casey."

Realisation dawned on the ADA, "It makes perfect sense. Casey's hair is actually red, Carnelian is red... Casey's a lesbian, Amethyst is purple, the lesbian colour is considered to be purple... Casey's birthstone is Sapphire. Abbie's been having her affair with Casey under my nose!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is MUCH larger than intended (about double what I've been writing for ISBY), but I promised Rainbow Shamrock this chapter.

"Talk to me," Olivia looked over at Alex who was sitting in the driver's seat with her hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, keys in the ignition, but the motor not running, having just left Jean-Paul's jewellery store a few minutes earlier. "Tell me what's going through your mind."

For some time Alex remained quiet before she eventually loosened her grip, briefly rubbed her hands over her mouth and cheeks as she exhaled heavily. Placing her hands in her lap, she have a half hearted shrug before finally making eye contact with the brunette. "I don't know what and how I feel right now, Liv. Part of me doesn't want to believe that Abbie's been having an affair with Casey for all this time, because Casey's our friend and co-worker. Part of me wants to physically injure someone, and I don't know if that someone is either Abbie, or Casey, or both of them. Another part just wants to yell and scream until I'm hoarse about everything that's happened since that day when my life went to shit. Part of me just wants to crawl in to my bed and cry until I can't cry any more for being made a fool of this past year, especially the past 6 months... and yet another part of me doesn't give a damn whatsoever seeing I have more important things to worry about with my cancer. I feel like I'm adrift in a vast ocean of emotions and I don't know in which direction I'm supposed to swim to find solid ground again." Alex reached out and interlaced the fingers of her right hand and Olivia's left, "Honestly, it feels like you're the only one keeping me afloat right now and I'm so grateful for it."

"Alex, I want you to know that I'm here for you...  _always_. I have to admit, I think I'd be feeling a similar slew of emotions with everything that's been thrown at you this past week or so. To be given a diagnosis of beast cancer is a low blow, and to find out your girlfriend has been cheating on you, again another blow. But to find out both the same day,  _that's_  not fair. And now to discover it's been with someone we trust, that's a triple whammy."

"Truthfully, we still can't be sure it's Casey though." Alex stated honestly.

"That necklace is pretty damning evidence, don't you think?"

"My heart says it is, but if I look at it from a prosecutor's point of view, it's circumstantial at best... or very coincidental seeing it only spells out C-A-S via the names of the stones."

"You're having doubts? The who else could it be?"

"I don't know! However, it's not like it was a 'Regard', 'Adore', 'Mizpah' or 'Dearest' pendant. It doesn't actually spell 'C-A-S-E-Y'."

"You're such a lawyer. We both know Casey's real name is Cassandra. Cas is a short form of that."

"I know it is Olivia, but I can't just confront Casey with an unfounded accusation, and neither can you. I know what  _that's_  like, having suffered it for the past 6 months."

Olivia could see Alex still didn't want to believe it was Casey, and wondered if she should mention what had happened in the lobby. She broached the subject carefully, "Umm... when Abbie was waiting for her boxes in the lobby, she said something that was... interesting."

"Oh?"

"She made a remark about  _me_...  _liking_   _her_...  _old girlfriends_..." Olivia didn't want to use the same terminology the Federal prosecutor had used, and hoped the blonde would pick up on emphasised terms in her attempt to reveal her true feelings, "... and I turned it back on her asking if who she was having the affair with wasn't someone who I might have dated previously."

Alex extracted her hand from Olivia's, clearly missing what the brunette was trying to say and focused on the other revelation. "You never told me you and Casey dated."

"Why would I?" Olivia clarified quickly when she noticed a look of hurt flash over Alex's features, "I  _never_  told you because I  _never_  dated her. Reds and strawberry blondes aren't for me, I told you only _blondes_  are." Liv reached out and brushed a lock of Alex's hair back behind her ear, her inner thoughts adding 'like you' as the tips of her fingers ghosted over the ADA's jawline. She placed her hand back in her own lap, "Besides, I was only fishing for information with Abbie. She got kind of cagey when  _she_  assumed that who she's dating now  _might_  have been one of my past girlfriends. Abbie actually got a call while she was waiting for the boxes... started using names like  _Hunny Bunny_  and _Cutie Patootie._ "

" _Hunny Bunny_  and _Cutie Patootie_?! Urgh, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. You know what, let's not talk about either of them any more. I'm having surgery in 3 days and I need to concentrate on _me_  and  _my_  wellbeing, and not Abigail Carmichael and her  _Cutie Hunny Patootie Bunny_!" Alex said as she started the car.

* * *

Wandering around one of the suggested lingerie shops that also specialised in breast forms, Alex asked Olivia, "Do you want to have a few hours of pampering with me at the beauty salon day spa on W59th and 7th? I'm going to get my hair trimmed, manicure, pedicure, facial, massage, legs, arms and bikini wax... the works."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

"Saturday? Oh. I would, but..."

"But?"

"I had to reschedule having my own mammogram and pap smear seeing we were a little busy during the week with the case. I can catch up with you after that, but you have to know that I'm also on call for the rest of the day. I'm off tomorrow night though."

"Come by when you can then. I also want to go out tomorrow night, just you and me. It's been a while since we have, seeing this last week and a half has been... life changing, to say the least. And I think it'll be a while before I want to go out again after the surgery and any followup treatment I might need."

"The Shamrock?"

"Of course! I feel like I have to give my 'girls' one last shake before I lose one of them." Alex covered each breast with her respective hand and gave them a discreet but quick jiggle.

Olivia stifled a laugh, "Deal."

A sales assistant approached with a kind smile, "Ladies, can I help you?" The assistant's name badge read Carmel.

Even though she knew it was inevitable, Alex's voice still waivered as she spoke. She was much more comfortable talking to Olivia about her breast cancer and surgery than anyone else. "I need... ahh... a post surgery..."

"Mastectomy bra or camisole? Right this way," Carmel indicated for Alex and Olivia to follow her before arriving in the designated area.

She took Alex's measurements to get the correct size required before taking a grey coloured camisole off the rack, "We have several different types and brands as you can see, but we've had a lot of positive feedback with  _this_  particular camisole as it has the mastectomy bra built in, and it also has internal pockets for the drain bulbs as well as the soft fill breast forms."

There were a variety of colours and each camisole had a band of matching lace at the bottom for a hint of femininity.

"What's the difference between the camisole and just a bra?" inquired Olivia.

"Nothing really, it's just the drain bulbs can be cumbersome. Some women pin them up with safety pins to the bottom of their post surgery bras or to a small elastic belt around their waist, but if you're having bilateral surgery, that a minimum of 4 bulbs, sometimes more."

"No, just the left one." Alex said quietly as tried to decide between a bra or camisole.

Carmel explained, "A lot of women find it much easier just slipping the bulbs into those pockets seeing the drains have to be emptied regularly rather than unpinning and repinning them."

Alex held one of each aloft, "What do you think, Liv?"

"If it were me, I'd go with the pocketed cami to start with."

"Ok, I'll take 2 camisoles... a cream and a pale blue coloured ones... and a soft fill breast form."

As Alex paid for her purchases, she asked Carmel "When can I get fitted for... a prosthetic breast form?"

"6 to 8 weeks after your surgery. However, it all depends on how fast you heal and whether or not you need radiation."

* * *

Olivia had only been able to have a manicure and pedicure with Alex at the beauty salon day spa after her own mammogram and pap smear test on Saturday morning. She wondered if she would discover what type of bikini wax Alex would be getting or at the very least considering, but that secret stayed a mystery to the brunette when she was called back to work for 2 child abduction attempts at Tompkins Square Park in the East Village. As she left, Olivia promised to pick Alex up at her apartment at 6pm.

Knocking on Alex's door, Olivia was dressed in a sheer maroon button down shirt with rolled sleeves showing off her tanned arms and a nice amount of cleavage; a white camisole of which a tiny hint was visible where the top button strained to meet; tailored black pants that hugged her curves just so; black boots, and even though she'd been wearing her newer Fearlessness tag pendant during the day, she opted for her older Fearlessness and Lotus Mandala necklaces tonight. A light dusting of makeup and her rich, dark burgundy nail polish finished the ensemble. A few moments after knocking, she was met with Alex dressed in a light royal blue drape neck halter top that Olivia knew showed off a vast expanse of Alex's pale back but covered the bullet scar at the front of her right shoulder; a pair of tight navy coloured jeans and a pair of strappy silver high heel shoes that allowed her bright red toe nails to be seen. Her French manicure and subtle makeup completed her look. Olivia was disheartened that Alex wasn't wearing her black framed glasses tonight, but her contacts and the halter top made Alex's eyes seem that little more blue than normal.

Olivia's mouth went dry as she began to speak. "Alex, you look... stunning."

Alex grabbed a tiny silver handbag that fit her phone and a small purse before she locked her apartment door, "Flatterer! Liv, you look gorgeous, as always."

Gregory, the apartment building's doorman greeted the women as they exited the elevator, "Good evening Ms Cabot, and again Ms Benson. You're both looking particularly sublime tonight, if you don't mind me saying."

"Charmer!" Olivia said, then exchanged a look with the blonde.

"Now Gregory, do I have to tell your wife you've been flirting with beautiful women again?" Alex teased while looking Olivia up and down before giving Gregory a wink while he held the main door to the apartment building open.

"I sweet talked her almost 30 years ago Ms Cabot, but I just like too see if it still works!" the doorman chuckled. "You ladies enjoy your evening."

Gregory watched as Olivia protectively rested her hand on the exposed skin of Alex's lower back. Halting a moment, Olivia whispered something to Alex in her ear that made the younger woman laugh heartily which in turn made the detective laugh just as much as they made their way down the few steps to the sidewalk. The doorman realised it had been quite some time since he had observed the blonde woman so happy and carefree, at least 6 months by his calculations. He had been surprised when Alex initially introduced him to Abbie 2 years ago and added the raven haired woman to the ADA's approved people list shortly after. He wasn't one to judge, but he had been sure there was  _something_  bubbling under the surface between the long time tenant and the brunette NYPD detective. It didn't surprise him in the slightest when he observed that  _something_  brewing again in the lobby just moments earlier. As he made his way back to his post near the elevator, he wondered not  _if_ , but  _when_  the women that just left would ever get together.

* * *

Olivia pulled her black 1965 Ford Mustang convertible in to one of the parking spaces at the back of the The Rainbow Shamrock, and Alex waited patiently as she put the roof on before locking the car. Her 'mid life crisis splurge' Liv initially called it, but it also was a type of self reward for 10 years as a detective at SVU, and going on long drives with the roof down on her days off after first purchasing the classic car helped with her PTSD after what had happened at Sealview.

The Rainbow Shamrock was 15 year established LGBTQAI nightclub on W14th Street, bordering the Chelsea and Meatpacking Districts. Everyone who had ever been to the Shamrock knew the suggestive yet comical implications of the location, and the owners of the bar, Shavaughn O'Keeffe (better known to regulars as 'Vaughn) and her long time partner Fiona Locker (known as Fi to Rainbow Shamrock patrons, but only Shavaughn dare call her Fifi), freely admitted they had purposely chosen it. It was a great place to unwind after a day of courtroom drama or busting perps with the large bar, tables and chairs, DJ booth and dance floor on the ground level, and a mezzanine with a smaller bar overlooking the nightclub with 'dining' booths for quieter socialisation. On busier nights, Fiona helped man the bar on the ground floor with the other bar staff and Shavaughn the upstairs bar, but usually they both manned the mezzanine bar together. Both women constantly changed the colour of their hair, and tonight was no exception as Alex and Olivia approached the upstairs bar. Fiona's short purple hair was shaved at the sides with blue tip highlights. Fiona always had 2 different colours in her hair to reflect the complete heterochromia of her eyes. Her right eye was chocolate brown, the left was ice blue. Tonight, Shavaughn's short shoulder length hair was dyed rainbow, an oft seen colouring on the blue eyed Irishwoman.

"Haven't seen you lassies here together for a quite while," Shavaughn called out, her Irish lilt audible.

"Been a little busy lately with work, 'Vaughn." Alex covered not wanting to get into details of her breakup or health issues.

"Work, sadly." Olivia reiterated as they sat down at the bar.

"You must be the unlucky ones of your group then," Fiona commented.

Liv asked, "Why do you say that, Fi?"

" _Both_  of your girlfriends and your  _other_  friend have been here quite a lot lately. Every night from memory for the last 2 weeks. You both must be very understanding girls, I'd be ripping throats or clawing eyes out if  _anyone_  was being as... friendly... as they were with my 'Vaughny on the dance floor!" explained Fiona.

Olivia and Alex exchanged a look, before Liv commented. "You know the saying: What goes on on the dance floor, stays on the dance floor."

"Told you, Fifi!" Shavaughn retorted before indicating to the blonde, "Alex,  _your_  girlfriend left her phone here last night in the booth you usually sit at, but it's got a PIN lock on it so I couldn't call you via the contacts to let you know. I figured Abbie would be back for it tonight, though."

Alex covered, "She mentioned she lost her phone this morning. Do you mind if I take it on her behalf?"

"Sure! I'll go get it from the office downstairs. Fifi, be a doll and make drinks."

"Bossy much!" Fiona retorted cheekily. "What would you like to drink ladies?"

Olivia answered before Alex could, "Fi, I'll have what Alex's having and she'll have a gin and tonic... a little more gin, a little less tonic, extra lime, crushed ice."

Alex stared at the older woman, "How did you know?"

Liv shrugged nonchalantly as she pulled out her wallet, "I pay attention."

* * *

"This is Abbie's old cell phone!" Alex whispered as they sat in the corner booth, easily recognising the Texas flag cell phone case. "She upgraded to the newer model when it was released and got a new American flag and bald eagle case! But she kept the same number when she upgraded."

"Prepaid SIM card then?" Olivia offered.

"I'd say so."

"Do you think she would she use the same PIN to lock this phone as her other cell phone?"

"Only one way to find out... try 1-9-6-9."

"Her birth year?" Liv asked as she tapped the numbers to try and unlock the phone, "Success."

Alex took the phone and immediately tapped the 'Contacts' widget, only 2 names were listed ' _Cutie_ ' and ' _Hunny_ '. She tapped the names to display the cell phone numbers but didn't recognise either of them. She checked the text messages, one to ' _Cutie_ ' and one to ' _Hunny_ '. Each message was the same photo with the same line of text. A photo of Casey, Abbie and Serena with the message reading:  
**_Lesbian Sandwich Time! Hungry? 8-p V q-8_**

"I'm an  _idiot_ , Liv. Abbie didn't want  _children_ , she wanted a  _threesome_!"

"What?!" Olivia extracted the phone from Alex and saw the photo with the comment. She zoomed in on the photo and saw Casey and Serena both wearing similar styled necklaces with familiar looking pendants made from reddish orange, purple and dark blue crystal beads. "It's not C-A-S for Casey... it's C-A-S, Casey, Abbie and Serena. She's with  _both_  of them."

Alex inhaled a calming breath, "Abbie's question to me was: 'What do you think about us becoming a  _family of 3_?'... I assumed having a child! Not inviting someone else in to our bed! How could I be so _stupid_?"

"You're not stupid, Alex." Liv placated the blonde, "If I was in a serious relationship with someone and they asked me  _that_  question, I'd assume a child too. A threesome wouldn't even be part of the equation. Monogamy is very important to me. Maybe I'd be considered selfish by some, but I couldn't share someone I love with another person."

"You and me both," the ADA agreed. "Liv, there's a few videos on here too."

The details of the file indicated that it had been taken just 2 months ago, it was immediately apparent Abbie was the one filming when her voice was heard as the image zoomed in on Casey.

_"Hey Cutie Patootie!"_   
_Casey waved, "Hey!"_   
_The camera then focused on Serena, the Texan's voice was clear as a bell. "Hey Hunny!"_   
_Serena blew a kiss, "Abigail, I'd prefer MY old nickname of Princess."_   
_"Rena, you know that's reserved for the Ice Princess now and you've always been my Hunny Bunny! So let's not talk about... Alexandra... and kill the mood."_

Alex didn't know whether to laugh, cry or be angry. She knew some people call her the Ice Princess behind her back, but Abbie? All the times Abbie called her 'Princess', had she really been referring to her as the 'Ice Princess'?

_Serena continued to talk, "No let's absolutely talk about her, Abs! I can't get away from her when I'm with Liv, so we might as well talk about her now."_   
_"What do you mean?" Casey asked._   
_"You're SO lucky not ever having been with Olivia, or as I like call her 'Oblivious'. Case, if you'd have ever been with her you'd might have suffered the same indignant fate as myself."_   
_The camera was back on Casey, "She's always pined after the 'Ice Princess'. I know that for a FACT! The way Olivia treated me when I replaced Alex, so rude! But I suspect there's more to your story, Rena. Care to elaborate on why Olivia is 'Oblivious'?"_   
_"Do you know or have any idea how awkward it was I was down between Oblivious's thighs the other week and she screams out Ice Princess's name when she came?"_

Liv was mortified at the revelation, her face and ears burning more and more with each passing moment. Had she actually done that?! She always fantasied it was Alex, and did so did each time when she took care of herself with her toys... but had the fantasy spilled over in to reality? Abbie asking if her sex life with Serena was 'satisfying' made much more sense now.

It was embarrassing that Abbie knew what had happened.

And even more embarrassingly, now Alex knew too.

The video continued playing...

_"OH MY!" Casey's eyes widened._   
_Abbie voice was loud, "She WHAT?! Oh Rena, that's priceless! FUCKING PRICELESS!"_   
_"I'll give you priceless! I'll even quote her: 'I'm gonna... gonna... ahh... Ahh... AHH... AAALLLEEEXXX!'" Serena took a sip of her drink without a care in the world, "I probably wouldn't have cared if Alex had BEEN there with us, but it's put me off having ANY more sex with her exclusively. I'll give Oblivious her dues though, 5 stars for her rack..." Serena pointed to her own cleavage, "... and 4 stars for her kissing ability. Her tongue is quite dexterous."_   
_Abbie turned the camera on herself, "At least Oblivious calls out. Princess is so quiet when she comes, I wonder if she hasn't fallen asleep most of the time when I'm wearing King Dong. But she's definitely 5 stars for her left titty orgasm. OH BOY! I wish someone else would get to experience it with me, but Ice Princess hasn't got a clue about my wants. She assumes brats when I bring up wanting to make us a '3'. She's just as oblivious as 'Oblivious'! That's why I love sharing myself with my Hunny and Cutie! They know exactly what I want!"_   
_"I thought you wanted Ice Princess to join our... fun?" Serena said._   
_"I do!"_   
_Casey queried, "So why are you breaking up with her?"_   
_"That's because I know she'll be so heartbroken and she loves me so much... she'll beg me for another chance of an 'us', and I'll tell her I'll only take her back on MY conditions! She'll finally play with us. So not only will it be a threesome, it'll be a foursome!"_   
_"AWESOME!" Serena and Casey clinked their glasses together. Abbie turned the camera back on herself and grinned before the video ended._

The silence between Alex and Olivia was deafening. Alex couldn't believe how open Abbie was talking about her, it made her feel cheap. It hurt Alex immensely because the Federal prosecutor knew how private she was. The ADA also knew how similarly private Olivia was. Before either of them could say anything, the next video loaded.

_Taken at a different time now, the camera was on Serena, "Rena Hunny, you know Casey's only making up the numbers for our threesomes right now. I promise it'll work out and be you, me and Ice Princess after our foursome. I'll tell Casey four's just too many and it was fun while it lasted. Then, Alex will be the mistress for a time and then it'll just be you and me again. I love you so much! I never stopped loving you!"_   
_"Not that I don't mind sharing too much Abs, but I just want it to be you and me again! I don't know how much longer I can keep sharing you! I miss US!"_   
_"It will be just the both of us really soon, I promise Hunny Bunny! Noone else but you and me. You know you're my Squirty Girl!"_   
_"Turn the camera off and come to bed Abigail."_

"She's still in love with Serena and playing Casey for a fool too." Alex gasped as the next video started.

_On yet another day the camera was on Casey, "Casey Cutie, you know Rena's only making up the numbers for our threesomes right now. I promise it'll work out and be just you, me and Ice Princess after our foursome. I'll tell Rena four's just too many and it was fun for everyone while it lasted. After that, Alex will be the mistress for a bit and then it'll just be you and me finally. I love you so much! I'll never stop loving you!"_   
_"Abbie, don't get me wrong, I love our threesomes, but I really want it to be just you and me! I want it to be US! I don't want to share you much longer."_   
_"Really soon we'll be together, just the 2 of us, I promise Cutie Patootie! Noone else but you and me. You know you're my BJ Queen!"_   
_"Speaking of BJ's Abbie, turn the camera off because you and me have a date with King Dong... right now!"_

"Abbie's playing both of them, and neither of them know." Olivia murmured.

_The last video had been taken at the Supreme Court very recently. The camera was capturing Alex and Judge Donnelly talking with Judge Petrovsky. Alex indicated to Abbie she's just be a moment, unaware that the camera was videoing but most likely assuming that Abbie was texting._   
_"Oh yeah! Liz Donnelly, that'd be a sweet ride! Liz, you were such hot Bureau Chief, and you're still as hot all these years later... what DO you wear under your judge robes? I'd tap that!"_   
_As Donnelly and Petrovsky walked away and Alex approached Abbie, Amanda Rollins called out to Alex._   
_The camera focused on Rollins for a moment as Alex and Amanda talked, Abbie's commentary continued, "Hello Detective Rollins! Oh, Amanda... my panties are getting damp just thinking about tapping that! OH YEAH! She's be THE best mid life crisis EVER!"_

The videos ended.

"What now?" Alex asked, not wanting to draw attention to what had been revealed, particularly in the first video.

"These videos, they have to be deleted. Noone can know about them, ever!" Liv replied as she deleted the first one. As she went to delete the next video she suddenly stopped. An idea began to form in the brunette's head and a devilish look appeared.

"Why did you stop deleting?" Alex began to panic slightly.

Liv gave a lop sided smile, "Alex, do you still want some... revenge?"

"After seeing those videos, yes!"

"Ok. Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do!"

"Good." Olivia slid out of the booth, taking Abbie's phone with her. "You want another drink?"

* * *

Olivia returned to the bar, noting Fi was gone. "Hey 'Vaughn, another gin and tonic for Alex. None for me seeing I'm driving."

Paying for the drink, she asked another question, "Do you have any idea when Abbie's been arriving lately?"

"Umm... about half an hour earlier than your girlfriend and your co-worker, 'round 9-ish."

The SVU detective checked her watch, it was 8-15pm. Returning to the booth, Olivia passed Alex her drink, pulled out her own cell phone and dialled a familiar number after she sat down. "Rollins, I'm calling in that favour you owe me."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this story, ISBY, I'm sticking with SVU canon and making Alex's birth year 1968 (even though my personal SVU headcanon usually says 1972-1974, more towards SMarch's age). This chapter isn't what readers might be expecting, but I hope readers are alright with it because it helps answer some questions they might have :-)

Abbie didn't have a care in the world right now as she slipped on a pair of skinny leather pants over her tiny black lace thong. She ran a hand over the curve of her ass as she checked herself in the mirror and grinned a devilishly, dimpled smile at her own reflection. She knew she was hot right now and wondered if she might pick up a new phone number from a hot young blonde thing at the Rainbow Shamrock in the half an hour before her  _Hunny_  and her  _Cutie_  would get there. She hadn't been successful yet for the few times she's tried so far, but who knows... maybe her luck would change tonight?

At least Alex or Olivia wouldn't be there,  _Oblivious_  would be comforting the  _Ice Princess_. As she slipped on the matching black lace bra, Abbie laughed out aloud as she replayed in her mind Olivia trying to convince the Federal Prosecutor that she  _might_  have been with Casey at one point in the lobby of Alex's building, and her own well acted response. She knew damn well that Olivia had never been with the red head that gave good head. Who knew that Casey Novak could give the best visual blowjob imaginable? Abbie certainly knew it! Team that with Serena Southlerlyn who could squirt... maybe the best sex possible? But if she could team those 2 with Alex Cabot's 'talent', it would be the BEST. SEX. EVER! And that was hopefully not too far off if her idea went according to plan.

Until such time, Abigail Carmichael was still having the time of her life, and loving every minute of it!

What had happened in her life just over a year ago to change, and set her on the path of an affair? Or was that affairs?

Just over a year ago on a night before she was to fly out for one of her regular trips to DC being a Federal Prosecutor, a very much in love and naked Abbie was on her hands and knees hovering over nude Alex laying flat on her back in bed, teasing the blonde to reach up kiss her but kept pulling back each time Alex tried. They enjoyed this playful teasing of each other like this before they made love, but this time would be different from all the other times. Alex stopped and suddenly commented on the discovery of a grey hair in the raven haired woman's head. What?! No, impossible! Immediately on closer inspection in the bathroom mirror by Abbie, there was more than one. In fact, there were several. This couldn't be happening. Alex began lightheartedly teasing Abbie at suddenly being old and grey. Even though she brushed aside the teasing, the comment weighed heavily on Abbie seeing she was a year younger than Alex.

Reflecting on it now, that was the point were Abbie's mid life crisis hit her with vengeance. She wasn't old, she was young! She was was in her mid forties! Oh my god, she was in her mid forties. She was middle age and what had she done with her life? Studied, got a job and worked all her damn life. She'd done everything she thought she'd do, and yet she'd done nothing that she'd assumed she'd have done by now. She didn't have a 'bucket list' per se, but there were things she had always dreamed of doing when she was younger.

She flew to DC the next day, and that night after work, she went to drown her sorrows about 'being old' in a local bar she used to attend. A familiar face sat beside her and ordered them both drinks.

Her ex.

Serena.

The blonde asked how she and Alex were after the initial 'Hi, how are you. It's great to see you again' spiel even though they had broken up on not the best of terms. Abbie looked surprised, how did Serena know about her being with Alex now? Neither Abbie or Serena had spoken since they broke up and Abbie moved back to New York. Well, Serena's old 'friend with benefits' had told the ACLU lawyer about the pair. And who was that? That 'friend with benefits' was Casey Novak. Serena explained that she and Casey were long time 'friends with benefits' even before Abbie and her were together. They met during Casey's censure, and neither wanting a full time commitment at the time... well, you get the picture. Abbie said 'she and Alex were good'. Serena said 'I hear a  _but_  coming up. I know you too well Abs, spill!'. The raven haired woman said 'no, no buts. We're fine, we're great'. Serena said 'well, if that's the case, fantastic! But if not... I'm sure you know where to find me. We were good together, but I'm sure you remember how  _great_  we were. It was lovely catching up Abs. By the way, you look _so fucking hot_... as always!'

As Serena sauntered away, Abbie turned and was certain that the blonde was putting an extra swing in her hips. Serena looked back over her shoulder and gave Abbie a wink, her tongue swiping along her lips seductively. She blew the Texan a kiss and turned to leave. Abbie's memerisation was broken when her cell phone ring.

Alex.

Her girlfriend's image on the screen made her heart leap, but then Alex's words came back to haunt her. Old and grey.

She glanced up at a retreating Serena, her comment fresh in her memory. So fucking hot.

Pressing the decline button, Abbie down the last of her drink and gave chase. Even as they made their way to Serena's apartment, Abbie's mind was screaming it was wrong, she didn't want to cheat on Alex. But as Serena backed Abbie towards the bedroom, the Texan justified that surely it would only be a one time thing and Alex would never have to know. That night, Abbie felt more alive than she ever had in her entire life as Serena straddled her face while burying her own face between Abbie's thighs. They'd had a great sex life when they were together, but this was even better. They continued their bedroom activities for hours, orgasm after wonderous orgasm, Abbie feeling younger and younger each time either she or Serena came. When Serena squirted over Abbie's hand after a particularly intense orgasm for the first time ever in the blonde's life, an image of Alex, Serena and herself together in bed flashed in Abbie's mind, and how wonderful it would be. She'd never had a threesome before in her life... but the thought of the three of them together was something she couldn't shake, and she wasn't getting any younger after all.

Abbie dismissed the idea entirely when she returned to New York, and her one night stand with Serena was just that: one night. Never to happen again. But when she returned to DC a month later, she returned to the same bar, never expecting anything to happen. As she went to leave, in walked Serena. They hooked up again and it was just as magical as the first time. This time however, Abbie decided to stay an extra night and lied to Alex about it, saying there was a 'bit more work to do'. Alex bought the lie without question and so Abbie and Serena became 'friends with benefits' each time she visited the nation's capital.

After the second hookup in DC, Abbie decide to take a chance. But how to broach the subject with Alex? She would have to tread carefully to gauge Alex's thoughts on the matter. She wouldn't want Alex to shoot down the idea completely, having a threesome could add an extra something special to her and Alex's relationship. It could be just a one off thing, just to see what it was like... or maybe a once in a while if Alex was open to the idea. What Abbie didn't expect from Alex was to associate becoming a '3' to having a child. Surely someone working in the sex crimes division would understand the implications of becoming '3' was having a threesome, right? Surely her amazingly smart and beautiful girlfriend would figure it out, because each and every time she asked it was right after having amazing sex with their new limited edition King Dong dildo. But alas, each time Abbie brought up the subject, Alex assumed having a baby.

This idea for a threesome wasn't going to plan at all.

Serena told Abbie she was moving back to New York after being transferred within the ACLU, and their hookups could become even more regular... if that's what she wanted. Abbie said she did, but she was _really_  wanting a threesome. Serena said they'd work towards that but keep working on Alex. After Serena moved back, she started casually seeing Olivia Benson, and when Serena told Abbie of the brunette with a great rack that  _might_  be a possibility if Alex wasn't open to having a threesome. Abbie said no fucking way in the world! Olivia had a thing for Alex and wouldn't keep something like having a threesome quiet and Olivia would think Abbie was cheating on Alex... even though she  _was_  cheating. Besides, the Texan wasn't  _really_  into women with brown hair... she  _much_  preferred blondes. This was why she wanted Alex for the threesome, especially with both women having a particular 'talent'.

Offhandedly, Serena said 'what about  _my_  old friend with benefits, Casey'? Abbie said she was sure Casey was a red head. Serena said Casey was, however she was a strawberry blonde now and her talent of giving blowjobs to dildos strapped low to your hips had to be seen to be believed. 'Well, I guess  _that_  could work came the reply, but would Casey keep her mouth shut to their 'secret activities' to Alex? Or would she spill her guts like Olivia would? Of course Casey would keep quiet, Serena reassured Abbie. Casey never breathed a word about their hookups before, so why would she say anything to spoil all the fun they could have? So Serena organised with Casey to have a little 'experiment trial run' for the 3 of them. Unfortunately, Olivia interrupted Serena and Casey making plans for themselves and Abbie, so the intended 'trial run' hastily became dinner get together for the 5 of them so as not to arouse suspicion.

As the 5 women chatted at Casey's place, Casey got up to get drinks and check on dinner. Serena offered to help and Abbie used the excuse of Alex's specific way of having her gin and tonic to join them. They wouldn't be having a threesome tonight, but Casey offered to demonstrate her 'talent' on the Texan. What?! Here and now?! No way! Why not, asked Casey... the very thought of possibly getting caught makes the experience even more intense. The faster Carmichael agreed, the quicker Novak could show her. Serena said she's look after the food and drinks seeing she already knew the Novak experience, she would keep an eye on Alex and Olivia and make the red wine reduction sauce, just in case.

Slipping to the bedroom, Casey grabbed a harnessed dildo and threw it at Abbie. No time to adjust it, just hold it in place and brace yourself. Casey knelt down in front of Abbie and enthusiastically demonstrated her 'talent' to a wide eyed Texan. Oh. My. God. It certainly  _did_  have to be seen to be believed! Abbie had to remember that the harnessed dildo wasn't even strapped in place but the visual alone was already beginning to make her... ahem. Yes, Casey would be an excellent addition to the threesome. It would be a great experience, but a little voice inside Abbie told her she should get Casey for a one-on-one private demonstration seeing Serena knew Casey one-on-one, and Abbie knew Serena one-on-one.

Serena hissed from the door to hurry the fuck up, Olivia and Alex were starting to wonder. All three raced back to the kitchen and grabbed drinks and returned to the lounge.

Olivia's remark about taking a long time made Abbie feel as though she'd been caught out, so how would she shift her own guilt of cheating on Alex? To shift the guilt, you shift the blame. Abbie accused her innocent girlfriend Alex of cheating on her with Olivia. It was easy to accuse Olivia seeing Abbie knew the SVU detective had feelings for her girlfriend. Of course Alex denied the false accusation, but Abbie threw the ADA's past cheating in her face. Alex said she'd do anything to prove she wasn't cheating.

Do anything? Maybe this would be the way to get her threesome?

Abbie said stay away from Olivia, thinking it would make Alex be even more loving and affectionate to the raven haired woman. Alex stayed away and Abbie had her threesome with Serena and Casey, making Abbie feel on top of the world, but she wanted more.

She wanted Alex... and Serena... and Casey together.

She wanted them all.

And yet, she wanted them all to herself.

Was she becoming a sex addict? No, she just loved sex and all the women she was having sex with.

She began seeing Serena and Casey separately from their regular threesome sessions, making each of them think that they were the only one she truly wanted even though she was still with Alex, and they knew it. She recorded certain conversations so she knew what she'd told the other so as not to get caught out. But her major plan of Alex being included in all this group sex was backfiring. Making her stay away from Olivia was making the blonde withdrawn and this made Abbie frustrated. If Alex  _truly_  loved her, she would be doing anything to make her happy. Perhaps if she broke up with Alex, the blonde would say she'd do  _anything_  to keep them together?

Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen was the mantra, and Abbie was sure she was playing all the parts right.

She broke up with stunned and gutted Alex on the Wednesday morning. Alex asked for an explanation, and Abbie told the ADA about the year long affair. Alex's response was swift as tears threatened to fall, you accused me of having an affair with Olivia and you're the one?! Abbie just shrugged and said she'd give Alex space and get her stuff on Friday. Abbie couldn't believe when she found out Alex had removed her from the list of her approved people who were allowed in the apartment complex. Alex wasn't supposed to do that, but in hindsight, it was such an 'Alex thing' to do. Abbie felt Alex's resolve waiver as she sweet talked the blonde in the lobby, she felt Alex lean in to her caress. Yes, Alex still loved her! She didn't expect Alex to slap away her hand as she reminded her of the 'talent' she had, but Alex was a private person and probably didn't want Gregory or Olivia to see her being felt up and the tears were probably just about their break up.

Olivia spun her around... ah yes, she was back to that part of the story again. Olivia trying to convince her she'd been with Casey.

Abbie scanned the few clothes that hadn't been ruined by the ink and grabbed a black button down. Abbie hadn't expected Alex to do something like that either, but it impressed the Texan. She went to grab her other phone but she realised she must've left it at the Shamrock the night before.

Not to worry, only Serena and Casey knew she had a second phone and therefore noone would know the PIN to access it. Her secrets would still be safe until she got her cell phone back. Fiona and Shavaugh would know the cell phone was hers with the Texan flag cover.

* * *

Abigail Carmichael entered the Rainbow Shamrock at 8-50pm and grabbed a drink from the barman from the main bar. Fi must be up on the second level with 'Vaugh then, thought Abbie. She'd go upstairs and check with them. As she turned to go upstairs, someone coming down the stairs from the mezzanine caught the Texan's attention.

Surely that wasn't the little hottie Amanda Rollins in a red and black flannel shirt and black jeans?

It surely was.

Maybe Abbie's luck  _would_  change tonight?


	10. Chapter 10

Detective Amanda Rollins inconspicuously zeroed in on her intended target, Federal Prosecutor Abigail Carmichael, as she started down the stairs from the Rainbow Shamrock's mezzanine. She had never officially been introduced to Abbie by Alex which would make all this a little easier. This probably had something to do with Amanda still being the 'new girl' at SVU, and understandably, Alex liked to keep her work life and private life separate. But Amanda and Abbie had said a very brief hello on one occasion some time ago near the DA's office when Amanda had been talking to Casey Novak for a warrant. On  _that_  occasion Abbie still had perfectly straight hair, unlike her now which was a mess of raven tousled tresses. Perhaps Abbie had invested in one of those rotating curling irons that could curl straight hair or straighten curly hair in a matter of moments from those late night infomercials? No matter what, Abbie looked quite different from what she did back then, and in all honesty, she was still undeniably attractive.

Amanda wasn't a lesbian, nor would she class herself as bisexual, but she certainly appreciated the female form and could 'play gay' quite convincingly if the need ever arose. Well, there  _may_  have been a bit of 'experimentation' during college, but who didn't do that back in the day? She'd gone undercover with Liv as a lesbian couple to try and find out about an anonymous sperm donor since joining SVU. Also there had been a handful of times to 'play the part' while undercover during her initial tenure in the Atlanta Police Department in Georgia, but that was all. Amanda remembered at the time of that small undercover assignment Detective Olivia Benson had suggested that Alex and herself go undercover as the lesbian couple, but Cragen was having none of it. Alex was an ADA not a detective with the NYPD. Olivia said Amanda would be good for sure, but Alex would be better seeing Alex was closer to her own age, they'd known each other  _a lot_  longer, and therefore would be more convincing in the undercover operation.

But Captain Donald Cragen wouldn't budge.

It was during the deathly silent drive to the sperm bank that Amanda came to the realisation that currently brooding Olivia held a torch for their blonde haired, blue eyed ADA. Liv instantly denied it of course, she'd just ended her very brief relationship (if that's what you could even call it) with David Haden and Alex was in a solid relationship with Abbie. Amanda informed Olivia offhandedly that her 'secret was safe' with the younger detective. Olivia continued to stay silent for the rest of the journey, but said 'thankyou' as they pulled up in the parking lot. On the drive back to the precinct after their short undercover operation, Amanda had turned and faced the brunette and informed her that she was $20,000 in debt from gambling as she was a gambling addict, just so they would be 'even' in having to keep secrets.

Unfortunately for Amanda, she had a setback in her gambling, owing even more than the initial $20,000, and needed to pay some of her debt immediately. Olivia had loaned the young detective what she had available to cover the increasing debt. Amanda promise to pay her back and that she'd owe Olivia a favour for helping her out of a bind. Olivia said to Amanda yes she would, and that she would call in the favour whenever she needed it.

Amanda had paid back the money she owed Olivia some months back, and was paying off her gambling debt. The promised favour she owed Olivia had been called in just a little earlier and was taking place right now. Amanda watched as Abbie made brief eye contact then sat back down at the bar.

This was going to be fun.

Abbie quickly sat back down at the bar and ordered another Texas Tea (equal shots of tequila, rum, vodka, gin, bourbon whiskey, triple sec, sweet and sour mix and cola... Dr Pepper for a true Texan... served in a Collins glass) as Amanda approached. Abbie slid the drink in front of Amanda as the young blonde sat down beside her and attempted to order.

Amanda raised an eyebrow in curiosity, her Georgia accent thick. "Do I know you?!"

"Not yet, Blondie!" Abbie grinned a dimply smile, her Texan accent just as strong. "But  _you_  can have a Texas Tea on  _me_!"

"Ooh! An accent! I  _love_  women with accents!"

"So do I!" Abbie's eyes widened in utter surprise as Amanda drank the entire alcoholic drink in one, long continuous hit.

Amanda licked her lips clean and began to flirt after placing the glass back down on the bar, "Where ya from to have a beautiful accent like that,  _beautiful_?"

"Texas, of course. You?"

"Georgia."

"Like the peach?" asked Abbie before she took a sip of her own drink.

"Uh-huh. In  _your_  mouth, I can be all  _sweet_  and  _juicy_."

Abbie nearly choked on her drink but recovered gracefully.

Amanda raked her eyes over Abbie's body, "Whatcha name, Tex?"

Abbie could see that Amanda didn't recognise her from that one time 'hello', and decided to use the name she'd been using at the Shamrock, "Gail."

"Like in... Dorothy from ' _The Wizard of Oz_ '?" Amanda winked.

"Well, I  _am_  a friend of Dorothy's!"

"Aren't we  _all,_ honey?" Amanda giggled. "Seriously, do I know you? You look  _kinda_  familiar."

"Nope, you don't know me... which is a  _real_  shame."

"Maybe I  _want_  to get to know you then?"

"Maybe you do!"

"We haven't slept together, have we?"

"Not yet... but that  _could_  change. What's ya name, peachy keen?"

"Amanda, but I prefer Mandy. I'm sorry Gail, but I had to ask if I already knew you or not." Amanda leant intimately closer to whisper in Abbie's ear, "I've been sleeping with so many women since I moved up here to the Big Apple, I can't keep track these days!"

"Really?!"

"Yeah. It's a lil' awkward trying to pick up someone that I've already slept with. I don't want to sound too... slutty... but y'know... gotta test the waters, if y'know what I'm saying! Don't like it when the ladies get all clingy after a... fun night together," Amanda placed her hand high on Abbie's leather clad thigh.

"I hear ya. No strings attached is the  _best_."

"Now you're talking  _my_  language! So  _Gail_ , how's about  _you_  and  _me_  find somewhere a little more...  _private_... so we can get to know each other a little better. Unless you got a better offer or have somewhere else to be?"

Abbie gulped the rest of her drink, grabbed Amanda by the hand and lead her towards the nearest bathroom.

* * *

Locking the toilet stall door, Abbie turned around and began to assault Amanda's neck with her lips, teeth and tongue. Amanda responded with a well timed moan of sheer pleasure. Abbie's nimble finger began to unbutton the red and black flannel shirt before a poorly timed groan of pure frustration immediately halted her progress.

"What?" Abbie's brows furrowed in confusion.

Amanda nipped Abbie's bottom lip, "It's my damn phone!"

"I didn't hear it ring."

"That's because it's only on  _vibrate_  silly!" Amanda struggled to pull her phone out the front pocket of her jeans before she tapped the screen a few times.

"Any reason why you have that phone in your  _front_  pocket?" Abbie waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Amanda just licked her lips and gave a cheeky smile, "Well, I'm sure a  _woman_  thought to put the vibrating alerts in these phones!... Damnit, missed call from work. I'm off tonight but I  _have_  to respond to this ASAP and get this shit sorted!" Amanda eyed Abbie up and down seductively, "Gail, how's about ya gimme some  _sugar_  to tide me over 'til I come back in a few minutes?"

"Whatcha got in mind?"

"How's about ya give me a lil' sugar right...  _here_." Amanda pulled her flannel shirt to the side, revealing the upper curve of her lace covered left breast. "And  _don't_  be gentle!"

"I like how you think, Mandy!"

"Can I take a pic? I'll send you a copy of it so we  _both_  have a  _great_  memory after the marks fade!"

Amanda saw Abbie's hesitation at the request. The blonde pulled her bra a little lower exposing the edge of her areola and pouted like a puppy.

"Smile for the camera!" Abbie licked her lips and dove in. As Abbie was occupying herself with giving Amanda not one but 2 large hickeys on her breast, Amanda ran her hand through Abbie's tousled hair, groaning pleasantly as she took a quick selfie.

Amanda eyed the huge purple bruises as Abbie pulled back with a huge dimply grin, "You're a wild one, Gail!"

"That's just for starters, Mandy!"

Amanda claimed Abbie's mouth for a long, wet kiss. "Stay  _right_  here, I'll get this shit sorted and  _we_  can continue!"

* * *

Holding her flannel shirt closed, Amanda was greeted by Olivia as soon as she exited the bathroom on the ground floor. The brunette took proffered the phone, removed the back plate before removing the current SIM card from Amanda's phone.

"You get it?" Olivia asked.

"Yes! Even got permission too!" Amanda said as Olivia handed back the now empty phone.

"Permission?"

Amanda removed another SIM card from her jeans pocket and slid it in place. "Possibly under false pretenses, but who's saying? Please tell Alex I'm sorry if she sees that picture!"

"She understands what's going to be done," Liv confirmed as she slipped the SIM card she removed from Amanda's phone in to her button down breast pocket. "Now, I'll take  _this_  SIM card with that photo and... you'll do what you have to do. We'll be down very soon."

Amanda turned her phone back on, "No problem."

Taking the stairs two at a time, Olivia returned to the mezzanine level and slid in to the booth next to Alex.

"Did she get it?" Alex asked.

Liv removed the tiny computer chip from her breast pocket, placed it back in Abbie's old phone and turned it on, "Abbie's own SIM card with a newly taken compromising photo of herself and  _another_ woman."

All Alex could so was try not to laugh too much, "Olivia Benson, I don't think I ever want to get on the wrong side of you!"

"Alex, I don't think you ever could!" Olivia said with a heartfelt smile. She reluctantly tore her attention away from the blonde to see the photo Amanda had taken, "Holy shit!"

"Let me see... WHOA! I'd forgotten she could be like a damn Dyson vacuum cleaner when she wanted to! That's why I never let her do that to my neck too often, how the  _hell_  could anyone cover something like that up, except for a turtleneck!"

Olivia avoided answering because there was nothing more she wanted to do than mark Alex like that. Well, maybe not  _that_  vicious, but certainly a small discreet mark that would last for days if not a week. "What do you think we should write as the text message before we... I mean... before  _Abbie_  sends a copy each to Serena and Casey?"

"Hmm... how about..." Alex took the phone and tapped out 2 words beneath the photo before showing Liv.

Liv chuckled at what Alex wrote and how the recipients would react, "I think that's fair enough."

Alex downed the last of her gin and tonic, "When will it be-"

"This compromising photo will be sent at the  _most_  opportune time," Olivia slid out the booth again and held her hand out for Alex to take. "Until then... I think it's about time we go downstairs to the dance floor and give our  _girls_  a bit of a shake!"

"I  _love_  the sound of that!"

* * *

"Miss me?" Amanda said as Abbie opened the stall door.

"Did I ever!" Abbie pulled Amanda inside and locked the door.

Amanda lent closer and started toying with the buttons on Abbie's shirt, "Hehehe... don't tell anyone, but I'm just a lil' drunk after that drinky ya got me! But that makes me even  _better_  in bed!"

"Really!"

"Uh-huh," Amanda nodded as Abbie attempted to kiss her. Amanda pulled back slightly, "Hey Gaily-girly! D'y'know what's even  _better_  than no strings exclusive sex?"

Abbie hesitated, "Umm... three... somes?"

"HELL YEAH! I just found me one of  _those_! And if  _you_  play your cards right after you an' me have had a lil' fun, I  _might_  be able to convince them to make it an...  _awesome foursome_!"

"Huh?"

"Don't get me wrong, I looove exclusive one on one sex, but something about threesomes and foursomes... WOO!"

"Tell me about it!"

Amanda took that statement literally as she slurred her words slightly, "The missed phone call I got wasn't  _actually_  work, but a couple of colleagues of mine...  _Oh my god_ , there's a story and a half  _right_  there! One of my colleagues, her ex-girlfriend of a couple of years just walked out on her because the ex-girlfriend kept going  _on_  and  _on_  about wanting to become a family of 3 with kiddies an' shit, and all Lexie _ever_  wanted her ex to ask was to have a  _threesome_! Can ya believe that?!"

"WHAT?!" Abbie screeched. Was she hearing correctly?! Had she gotten everything wrong about the woman she loved? Alex  _wanted_  a threesome?! She'd never asked specifically, she'd always danced around the edges when she asked Alex. Maybe if she'd just come right out with it in the beginning, none of this would've happened?

"I KNOW, RIGHT! So now the ex... I  _think_  her name was Abby... hmm, maybe it was Gabby?... Anyhoo, now Gabby-Abby's out the way, Lexie can finally have what she's been wanting all these years and it's a red hot  _threesome_! And she wants  _me_  to be a part of it! So I said 'FUCK YEAH!'. And the  _best_  part Gail, Lexie's told me she's got one of those girly  _talents_! She said can can titty-gasm like there's no tomorrow if ya suck her leftie _juuust_  right! And my other colleague, Livvy, she's got this great rack on her that ya just wanna bury ya face in an' motorboat...  _BRRRRRRRR_!... And from what I've heard, what Livvy can do with her tongue... WOW! Makes me all hot and wet just thinking about her tongue talent! She can bend me over backwards anytime she wants! But that's  _my_  talent, Gail... I did gymnastics growing up an' I'm still as flexible as I was back then! That's why they want me in their threesome! Lexie's here in the Shamrock  _right_  now-"

"HERE  _NOW_?!" Abbie was stunned. If Alex was here at the Rainbow Shamrock, Abbie would be able to get her long awaited threesome with Alex. So what if Serena could squirt and Casey could give good visual blowjobs? Amanda could be part of the threesome if that's what Alex wanted! Hell, a woman that could contort her body any which way she could in a threesome was a talent Abbie definitely wanted to see and to be part of!

"Yeah, not sure 'bout Livvy though. If ya'd like to meet them after we've... Hey! Where ya goin'?"

"We have to go find Alex... Lexie!"

"But we're just gettin' to know each other, honey!  _Ya'll_  find out soon enough how flexible I am!"

"Mandy? Gotta find Al... Lexie, NOW!"

"Alright, alright! Lexie said she would be out on the dance floor."

* * *

"There they are, Gail!" Amanda pointed.

Abbie scanned the dance floor where Amanda was indicating, eventually spying the bare back and blonde hair of Alex. As the music with a thumping beat pounded in her ears, the raven haired woman watched as Alex moved around to press the front of her body against the back of a woman. The ADA's hands and fingers reaching around from behind to unbutton the straining buttons of the sheer maroon button down and exposing more of the white camisole underneath. Alex's pale hands roaming over the other woman's torso to just under the curve of her breasts, and her lips were hovering near the other woman's ear.

Abigail Carmichael saw red as Olivia Benson glanced up and made direct eye contact with her, a clear look of unadulterated desire was on Liv's facial features as Alex's hands lazily traversed the detective's body.

Reluctantly, Alex removed her hands before she shimmied to be in front of Olivia, her bare back pressing against Liv's front now. Alex guided and held Olivia's right hand quite low to splay and rest on her right hip with her own hand... almost cupping her centre. Then Alex guided Olivia's left hand to her left breast, holding it there with her own left as Olivia placed a featherlight kiss on Alex's neck.

"Hehehe, Lexie's single and it looks likes she ready to  _mingle_  right there on the dance floor with Livvy... if y'know what I'm sayin'! I'm gonna go join!" Amanda said before she left Abbie standing there as the blonde detective made her way over and started dancing. Alex pulled Amanda closer pressing the younger blonde's front against Alex's front, sandwiching the ADA between both SVU detectives.

Abbie's nostrils flaired as she watched Amanda, Alex and Olivia sensually dance in time with the beat. 


	11. Chapter 11

Serena's hand rested on Casey's bare knee before lazily inching higher towards her intended destination beneath the short skirt.

"You really shouldn't be doing that, Rena!" Casey growled as she peered out the taxi window.

The blonde leant closer, her lips brushing the shell of the strawberry blonde. "Case, what  _Abbie_  doesn't know about  _us_  and our... extra curricular proclivities... won't hurt her, because she'll never know that we've continued it after all these years, will she? She'll never know what takes place before we get to the Shamrock to catch up with her now she's a free woman."

"No, she never will! That's  _our_  secret!" Casey could only grin slyly as Serena's hand eventually halted and cupped smoothness.

"You're not wearing panties, you  _dirty_  girl!" Serena hissed while Casey attempted to stifle a groan of pleasure.

"You noticed? Thought you might appreciate it...  _first_."

"Always so thoughtful. No wonder I love our... arrangement. Abbie might like our threesomes, but you and me-" Serena teased in more way than one.

"Southerlyn!  _Stop_  talking and _start_  fuc-"

Serena instantly stilled her movements, " _Dirty_  girls shouldn't use  _dirty_  language, should they, Novak?"

"Rena, if you don't finish what you just started, I swear I'll ignore you later tonight, and I know exactly how much  _attention_..." Casey's eyes not so discreetly glanced at between Serena's legs before staring directly at the blonde, "... you  _love_ , and how  _wet_  you'll get!"

"Like  _you_  right now?" Serena held Casey's unwavering glare until the strawberry blonde's eyes slid out of focus and her head fell back against the taxi seat, moaning wantonly as the ACLU lawyer resumed her movements. Neither women were bothered if the driver was listening or watching them in the rear view mirror. Serena claimed Casey's mouth hungrily to swallow the moans that she knew were building rapidly from the SVU ADA.

* * *

It took all of Abbie's self restraint for her not to rush over and tear Alex away... especially from Olivia. She disliked...  _hated_... Olivia Benson, ever since the NYPD Detective turned her down when she was briefly assigned as the ADA to SVU all those years ago. No woman had turned down Abigail Carmichael... EVER. However, Olivia refused the offer, stating that it was nothing personal but she just wasn't into dark haired women, she much preferred blondes. Abbie then laughed off the rejection, saying to Olivia that she did too.

But now Olivia's hands...  _paws._.. were all over...  _mauling_... Alex...  _her woman_! Well, her ex... for now, but Alex was definitely going to come back to her. They were so compatible, both wanting threesomes and not kids...  _brats_! Those paws were on Alex's breast and on that little tattoo low on her right hip. The thought of Olivia discovering Alex's body art and bedroom talent... that was never going to happen! Olivia was never going to have her Alex. Hell, the only reason Abbie hooked up with Alex Cabot in the first place was to piss Olivia off, seeing the brunette didn't have the guts to tell Alex about her feelings. She'd seen the longing looks Liv had been directing towards Alex at Elliott Stabler's retirement party, and the discreet looks Alex had been sneaking at Olivia too. As Olivia steeled herself and approached Alex, Abbie sidled up to the both of them and said to Olivia in her Texan drawl, to 'stop being so rude Benson, and introduce your  _beautiful_  co-worker'.

She was drawn from her musings... Good lord, they were practically having sex out there on the dance floor of the Rainbow Shamrock!

Fuming, Abbie observed Alex pulling Amanda's slim hips even closer in time with the beat. They began grinding their centres together while Olivia shifted her hand from Alex's hip and slid it around Alex's waist to hold the ADA closer to her own body. Olivia's lips nibbled higher on Alex's neck until she gently nipped Alex's right earlobe while keeping her hand possessively on Alex's left breast. Amanda wrapped an arm around the ADA's neck, brushing her lips along the ADA's jawline before lean closer and said something directly into Alex's left ear. While this was happening, Alex began unbuttoning some more of the remaining buttons of Amanda's red and black flannel shirt before parting the material open, exposing the major hickey. Alex looked back over her right shoulder at Liv, her hand weaving up and pulling Olivia's neck closer, obviously repeating the message to the brunette before pressing her lips to Olivia's cheek. Olivia said something in response to the younger SVU Detective and indicated with jut of her head, while the hand snaked around Alex's waist slid higher to palm Alex's right breast. Alex repeated what Amanda did and spoke directly into Amanda's ear. The younger blonde nodded, indicated herself, Olivia and Alex then hitched her thumb in Abbie's direction before seductively trailing a finger down Alex's cheek. In unison, Olivia and Alex turned to look in the direction indicated. Abbie turned as promptly as she could, taking a few steps away in a different direction, having already been spotted by Liv a little earlier.

Had she been seen this time? That wasn't what Abbie had been hoping would happen, but right now she wasn't in control.

When the Federal Prosecutor turned back around several feet away from where she had been, Abbie saw Alex had turned around in Olivia's embrace, her arms wrapped around Olivia's waist with her face buried in the curve of the brunette's neck, her blonde head shaking in the negative. Olivia was comforting Alex, one hand running up and down Alex's bare back and the other gently kneading Alex's ass before the ADA nodded, her head still buried in the brunette's neck. Amanda looked a little uncomfortable as she desperately searched for 'Gail'. Olivia said something that made Alex lift her head, then Olivia kissed the tip of Alex's nose, making Alex smile tightly. Reluctantly ending their embrace, a somewhat displeased Olivia frogmarching Amanda off the dance floor towards the bar, and a forlorn Alex headed slowly back towards the mezzanine.

The raven haired Texan watched as Olivia gestured wildly at the huge exposed hickey on Amanda's breast, a thumb indicating back at Alex then 3 fingers raised and a nod of her head. Then she vaguely indicated in Abbie's previous location, raised 4 fingers and shook her head, no, at Amanda. Olivia tapped the side of Amanda's temple in a 'think' or 'get it through your head' gesture. Amanda shoulders slumped heavily, looking like a sad puppy for being chastised before clearly saying 'sorry' to the brunette.

Obviously Alex wasn't up for anything more than 3 in the bedroom, surmised Abigail.

Olivia indicated herself, held up 4 fingers and nodded. But then she then shook her head and shrugged, patted Amanda's cheek sympathetically before she turned on heel and headed after Alex. Amanda fumbled trying to rebutton her flannel shirt, managing to button a couple of them askew as Abbie approached.

* * *

"Abbie saw everything?" Alex slid into the booth on the mezzanine, almost out of breath.

Liv sat down beside the blonde, "Oh yeah! Except when she scurried when we turned to look at 'Gail'. She was like a hawk, and ready to rip me to shreds when my hands were on you."

Alex corrected, "All over me!"

"Sorry about that," Olivia mumbled.

"I'm not! I put your hands exactly where I wanted them to be to begin with... and my hands were all over you too!" Alex replied with a grin. The sexual tension between them grew thick before Alex eventually continued, "W-when are we... I mean, when is  _Abbie_  going to send Serena  _Casey's_  video, and Casey _Serena's_  video?"

"I say we... I mean  _Abbie_  should wait some time after  _she_ sends the compromising photo she took in the bathroom. Maybe when Serena and Casey enter the Shamrock? Anyway,  _she'll_  be sending that incriminating photo right about..." Olivia pulled out Abbie's phone and tapped the screen, "...  _now_."

* * *

"So?" Abbie prompted as she stood in front of Amanda.

"Hey Gaily-girl! Fuck you're a hot piece of ass, y'know! Wanna finish what we began lil' earlier?" Amanda grabbed Abbie's leather clad ass and squeezed generously.

"What about Al... Lexie?"

Amanda pouted, "What 'bout her?"

"Threesome, _remember_?"

"OH! Riiiiiight! Yeah, Lexie only wants a threesome to begin with. Livvy's up for more... the  _horny_  bitch! I figured she'd be like _that_... but Lexie ain't havin'  _any_  of it tonight. I can't  _wait_  to get into bed with them both later on! But  _you_  an'  _me_  can have a lil' fun first! So let's go finish what we started a lil' while ago," Amanda leant in to sloppily kiss Abbie, missing Abbie's lips and planting her mouth on Abbie's chin.

Abbie's mind had to work fast. She had to get Liv away from Alex, so she could talk to Alex alone and convince Alex that the threesome should be only Alex, Amanda and Abbie. "Mandy babe,  _you_  need to talk to Livvy more, so Livvy can convince Lexie that a foursome can be awesome just like  _we_  know it can be!"

"You're _soooooo_  right!" the blonde swayed unsteadily before giggling. "If  _Livvy_  can convince  _Lexie_... Whoa!... Why didn't  _I_  think of that! Gaily-girl, y'all are so  _smart_!"

The Federal Prosecutor smirked, "Yes  _I_  am."

"Y'know, I think Lexie has a lil' thang for Livvy an' might listen to her!" Amanda grabbed Abbie's arm and began dragging up her up the stairs to the mezzanine, "C'mon!"

"Wait! What are we doing?!"

"If Lexie sees how  _hot_  you are close up, she might change her mind to the foursome. DUH, Gail!"

Abbie perked up immensely. Obviously Alex hadn't seen her earlier when she and Liv had looked around. "H-how about I wait near the bar... get  _you_  another drink while you talk to Livvy privately! I know how much you liked that last drinky, Mandy."

"Mmm... 'nother one of those yummies, yeah!" Amanda stumbled almost at the top, "Whoops! Watch the esc'lator stairs, they're broked."

Abbie stood at the end of the bar away from the stairs while Amanda unsteadily approached Alex and Olivia at the booth furthermost away. Liv patted the seat next to her as she slipped a cell phone into her breast pocket, but Amanda indicated that she wanted to speak to Olivia privately. Alex waved them both away with a naughty wink and a seductive lick of her lips.

"Abigail, what can I get you?" the Irish owner with rainbow hair appeared.

"Hey 'Vaughn! I need a very special drink for a very special woman. Could I have a gin and tonic, please... a little more gin, a little less tonic, extra lime, crushed ice."

* * *

Serena and Casey groaned simultaneously, breaking their hot and heavy kiss, as their cell phones indicated incoming texts. Both women easily identified the sender by their respective assigned tones, "Abbie!"

"She has _the_  worst fucking timing imaginable!" Casey growled, searching for her tiny handbag while still straddling the blonde's hips in the back of the taxi.

Serena began digging in her purse, "I swear she does it just to shit us off!"

"Our 'sexscapades' makes up for it though,"

"It's the only thing that does."

Each found their cell phones and both saw what Abbie had sent them.

"Fucking bitch!" they both snarled upon seeing Abigail Carmichael giving a huge hickey to some unknown woman on her breast in the bathroom of the Rainbow Shamrock, the caption reading  _'Jealous bitches?'_.

"She's playing  _without_  us... and  _playing_  us!" Serena spat in disgust. "That's  _not_  how  _our_  exclusive threesome arrangement goes!"

"We might play without her, but we don't flaunt it or shove it in her face like she just has!" Casey suddenly asked, "Is she fucking  _you_ behind my back?"

Serena was instantly on the defensive, "NO! I can't believe  _you_  just asked  _me_  that, Case!"

"Sorry Rena, but I had to. This photo of Abbie is damning evidence!"

"Is she fucking  _you_  behind my back?!" Serena immediately shot back.

"Absolutely NOT!" Casey lied smoothly.

* * *

A drink being placed in front of Alex startled her. "Liv! I said I don't want...  _Abigail_."

"Hey, Alex! Bought you a gin and tonic... just how you like it."

The blonde rolled her eyes, "Leave me alone."

"Aww, Princess. Don't be like that."

"Abigail Carmichael,  _you_  ended  _our_  relationship. Now, let _me_  move on with  _my_  life... just like  _you_  have with  _yours_."

"We can still be friendly, remember?"

Alex ignored the raven haired woman and turned her attention to the SVU Detectives near the stairs of the mezzanine. Amanda made eye contact with Alex, then waved animatedly and blew a kiss. Olivia on the other hand, discreetly raised 4 fingers with a pleading look. Alex gave a patented icy Cabot glare and no nonsense shake of her head. Olivia held up 3 fingers which received a curt nod in response. Olivia gave a tight smile and a nod in understanding before turning her attention back to Amanda.

"What are you... doing these days?" Abbie asked nonchalantly.

"What do _you_  care?"

"I  _do_  care."

Alex kept her focus trained on Olivia and Amanda, "I'm going to be doing something I've always wanted to do."

Abbie spoke quietly as she shifted a little closer, "Something like... a...  _threesome_?"

Alex's head whirled around to look directly into the Texan's eyes, trying to keep her features neutral, but there was a clear look of unadulterated desire. She tried to recover, "W-why would you suggest-"

"Alexandra... I _really_  think we got our wires crossed," Abbie said as she hesitantly placed her hand on Alex's knee.

"Oh?"

"When I said... I wanted to become... a '3'... I meant...  _threesome_."

"You want a... I thought you meant  _children_."

Abbie moved her hand from Alex's knee and took the ADA's hand in hers, "No, Al! No... no."

" _You_  broke up  _our_  relationship!  _You_  broke up with  _me_!  _You_  broke  _my_  heart! _You_  tossed  _me_  aside like... a piece of  _trash_!"

"I know, and I'm so sorry! I should have been  _much_  clearer with you when I first asked."

Alex extracted her hand from Abbie's as she made eye contact with Olivia and beamed at the brunette, "Well... I've moved on, Carmichael. One woman's  _trash_  is another woman's  _treasure_."

"Benson _doesn't_  love you like _I_  do. She  _will_  toss you aside after being with you and Amanda tonight, and move on to someone else."

"How did you-"

"I've known women like that in the past... before  _we_  met. Benson's  _definitely_  one of those types. You, me and...  _Amanda_  on the other hand... that could be something...  _special_... for  _us_."

"Rollins?" Alex glanced at the swaying younger blonde.

"Yeah, just think about...  _I_  could doing things to _you_  that I know you like...  _love_... while she's doing other things to  _you_ , or  _me_... we could do things to her. We both know what we like in the bedroom... and your adorable  _talent_. Amanda might have a talent too!"

Alex shifted uncomfortably in her seat before clearing the lump in her throat, "Like you suggested, let me  _think_  about it. I'll give you my answer in less than half an hour, Abbie. If you respect and love me as much as you say you do, you'll leave me alone in this booth to make  _my_  decision."

"I'll be down on the dance floor... waiting," Abbie leant over and brushed her lips against Alex's before sliding out of the booth. She gave a clearly seething Olivia a proud smirk as she passed by and descended the stairs, ignoring Amanda's attempt to gain her attention and ask about her drink.

* * *

"Liv! Fifi just texted. She says the lassies have just arrived and are about to order their drinks," Shavaughn waved her cell phone in the air from the bar.

"Thanks 'Vaughn!" Olivia replied as she watched Abbie step off the last stair. She turned to Amanda briefly before she continued to watch Abbie from their vantage point, "You play drunk quite convincingly, Rollins."

"Thanks Liv. Had a little practice over the years on the job."

Alex approached and indicated the ground floor, "Do you think Casey and Serena look...  _pissed_?"

"Oh yeah!" Olivia nodded, removing Abbie's cell phone from her breast pocket and began creating new messages containing certain videos for  _Hunny_  and _Cutie_.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that while it was only a couple of weeks since i posted the previous chapter here at AO3, it was in fact from initially writing chapter 11 and then chapter 12 was actually just shy of a year. I'm now up to date (so to speak) with this story and will start writing the next chapter ASAP. Enjoy :-)

Amanda read the newly received message on her cell phone, then turned to Olivia.

"I would really love to stay and see how this all plays out for Abbie, but that was Fin. Got a rape victim at Lenox Hill Hospital, and seeing I'm on call tonight-"

With her focus still on Abbie's cell phone in her grasp and tapping away rapidly, Olivia nodded her understanding, "That's alright, you go. Besides, it's probably best that the mysterious woman in the red and black flannel shirt  _isn't_  here, just in case."

Rollins addressed the ADA, "I know you said you'll be taking some time off for personal reasons when you were both explaining what you wanted me to do for this favour I owed Olivia, and not to say a word to anyone in the squad about knowing you'll be taking time off. I'm guessing it's not just to do with Carmichael cheating on you, and don't want to pry, but I just want you to know I'm here for you... as a friend, of course."

"Thankyou Amanda," Alex replied as she gave the blonde detective a brief hug. "I'll let you know more in due course, just please understand I can't right now."

Liv looked up from Abbie's now turned off cell phone with a satisfied smile, "Amanda, the woman with the rainbow coloured hair behind the bar, Shavaughn, she'll let you use the back exit to the Shamrock so there's no chance of The Three Amig- _hoes_ down there seeing you. And give this phone to 'Vaughn so she can give it back to its  _rightful_  owner."

"I still can't believe you managed to convinced Shavuaghn and Fiona to do all this!" Alex hissed after Amanda made her way over to the bar with the cell phone.

"I only asked Fi to let 'Vaughn know when Casey and Serena arrived, and for 'Vaughn to return Abbie's phone to her. They figured out the  _ménage à trois_ part themselves when Fi commented about what had been happening on the dance floor recently and offered their services," Olivia watched as Abbie made her way across to the downstairs bar. "Right  _now_ , there's a couple of video messages bouncing around between cell phone towers to be sent to certain people from Abbie's phone which will be returned to her very soon."

Alex suddenly gasped in horror, "Did you remember to delete the one Abbie took of Liz before you returned the phone?"

Olivia deliberately ignored the question, "I think the first lot of shit is about to hit the fan for Abigail Carmichael."

"Liv! Did you delete the video of Liz?!"

"Alex, it'll be taken care of... _trust me_." Olivia could see the blonde needed more convincing, "Sweetheart, who is the one person you  _wouldn't_  want to make aware of the video that Abbie took of Judge Donnelly?"

"Liz herself, of course!"

"Yeah, that's who I thought as well."

Alex's jaw dropped as she comprehended what Olivia was implying, "You didn't?"

Olivia gave a mischievous smile, "You're right,  _I_  didn't...  _Abbie_  did!"

* * *

Abbie began winding her way towards bar downstairs, being careful not to collide into the slowly growing number of female patrons of the Rainbow Shamrock. The thought of Alex and Amanda in bed with her as a threesome were tantalising and mouth watering... or was that titillating and panty flooding? Amanda had made the Texan all hot bothered when she asked for some 'sugar' and wanted more. She noticed Serena and Casey at the bar as she approached. As much as she loved the regular threesomes with Casey and Serena (and their secret one-on-one rendezvous), tonight's initial plans with her Cutie and Hunny were now off the table. Then again, a quickie in the bathroom stalls before Alex begged to be taken back... what was the harm in that?

"Abigail!" an Irish voice said as the Federal Prosecutor felt a hand on her shoulder as she passed by the office door near the bar.

The Texan turned to see the rainbow haired owner behind her.

"You left your phone at your booth last night," Shavaughn held out the cell phone. "I remembered when you ordered a drink upstairs but when I went to give it back to you, you'd disappeared!"

A huge wave of relief washed over Abbie as she took possession of the phone and went to hug Shavaughn, "Thanks 'Vaughny! I thought I'd lost it."

Shavaughn took a step back, "Don't thank me with a hug, Abbie. Fifi would have your eyes out before you could blink."

Abbie slipped the phone in her back pocket, "Jealous much?"

"Jealous? No. Fifi knows I'd  _never_  cheat on her, and I know Fifi would  _never_ cheat on me. Protective though? Yes. Especially when drunk lassies think that they can make a move on someone else's lady!" Shavaughn said jovially.

Abbie gave Shavaughn a dimpled yet pained smile, "I'd better go. Rena and Case have started drinking without me."

" _Bréagadóir_ ," Shavaughn muttered under her breath as she watched Abbie walk over to the two blondes. It was the Irish Gaelic word for 'liar'.

* * *

Casey and Serena were still fuming knowing Abbie had been playing behind their backs. They had agreed during the rest of the taxi ride to let the Texan have it with both barrels once they caught up with her.

"Cutie! Hunny!" Abbie sidled up behind both women still facing the bar and gave Casey and Serena's backsides a generous squeeze with each hand.

The Texan expected sultry smiles from Serena and Casey like usual when they turned around to face her. She didn't expect to have two Collins glasses full of Texas Tea thrown in her face.

"What the fuck?!" Abbie spluttered, wiping the liquid dripping from her face.

Casey slammed her glass back down on the bar, "More like  _who_  the fuck!"

"What are talking about?!"

"Playing the dumb card, Abs? That's cute!" Serena handed over a fistful of notes to cover the drinks and any clean up costs after placing her glass down.

"I don't know what you're-"

Serena cut her off, "We both received the photo you sent..."

"Photo?!"

"... Whoever she is, we hope you got her number because she can have you!"

"What photo?! Neither of you are making any sense!"

"Your denial of any knowledge of the photo is just sad when we have the proof. Maybe you were supposed to send it to someone else? Maybe her phone? But that wouldn't explain what you wrote along with it. So to answer your question: No, we're not jealous!" Casey said as she and Serena unclipped the matching necklaces they wore then tossed them at Abbie.

"What?!" Abbie scrambled to pick up the necklaces that bounced off her body.

"Abigail Carmichael, our exclusive threesome arrangement is  _over_! Come on Rena," Casey grabbed Serena's hand and stalked past the Texan.

* * *

Alex and Olivia began snickering from their vantage point when Casey and Serena threw their drinks in Abbie's face.

"I'm going to take great joy in telling Abbie my 'answer'," Alex giggled, using air quotes.

"I bet you will!" Olivia gave a broad grin, bumping Alex's shoulder playfully.

* * *

"Wanna continue what we were doing in the taxi back at my place? Keep  _our_  arrangement going?" Serena purred as she and Casey tumbled into the nearby bathroom.

"You read my mind, Southerlyn!" Casey nibbled Serena's ear.

The familiar sound of dual incoming texts interrupted their progress.

Casey groaned, "What does she want  _now_?"

"Probably grovelling with a nude selfie or something," Serena huffed. "Well,  _we_  can send her a selfie of our own when we're in bed so she knows what she's missing out on. If she wants to play around with some other tramp, she can have the tramp. Now, if it had been Alex's nipple she was sucking I wouldn't have cared, but the Ice Princess wouldn't be caught dead in flannel!"

"Not unless it was Givenchy or Alexander McQueen couture," Casey sneered.

Both women checked the newly received video message from Abbie.

_"Rena Hunny, you know Casey's only making up the numbers for our threesomes right now..."  
_ _"Casey Cutie, you know Rena's only making up the numbers for our threesomes right now..."_

"You fucking bitch!" Serena and Casey snarled at each other after the respective videos finished.

"You've been fucking her behind my back?!"

" _You've_  been fucking her behind  _my_  back!"

Neither knew who made the first move, but both tumbled to the ground, hitting, slapping, clawing and screaming obscenities at the other for being betrayed in such an underhanded manner, completely disregarding that they were the ones that had betrayed Olivia and Alex the most.

* * *

After wiping her face with some paper napkins and pocketing the now discarded necklaces, Abbie grabbed her phone with the Texas flag cover. While it was now her old phone, it had a new SIM card with it now. Only Serena and Casey knew of its existence seeing it was purchased to organise their threesomes and one-on-one interludes and neither of them knew the pin Abbie had set for it. Try more than three times unsuccessfully to unlock it and the SIM card would lock. She'd only just got it back in her possession from Shavaughn so what the hell were they bitching about for some damn photo she'd supposedly sent?

Unfortunately for Abigail Carmichael, after turning the cell phone on and typing in the pin, she never saw that both Casey and Serena had received the other's video, as well as a photo of her sucking on the breast of an unidentified woman dressed in a red and flannel shirt. Nor did she notice that the  _'Rena Hunny'_  and  _'Casey Cutie'_  videos, as well as the video of her slyly commenting about Judge Elizabeth Donnelly had been sent to a number she didn't recognise.

Why?

Because her attention was suddenly drawn to a Rainbow Shamrock patron bellowing from the bathroom door, " _SECURITY_!  _BITCH FIGHT_!"

* * *

"It seems Serena and Casey have found out about those videos that Abbie took," Alex mused as two bouncers, a butch dyke and a muscle bear, escorted the ADA and ACLU lawyers from the bathroom.

"Looks like it," Liv said and watched as Serena and Casey continued yelling obscenities at each other and about Abigail Carmichael for the whole club to hear until they were removed from the Rainbow Shamrock.

"Well, I think it's time for me to play my part."

Olivia turned her head, "We still have about 15 minutes before-"

Taking Olivia's hand, Alex gave the brunette a flirtatious smile as she motioned for them to make their way to the stairs, "No time like the present!"

* * *

Abbie cringed and turned away as Serena and Casey hurled expletives at her as they passed by. Tonight wasn't going to plan at all, but she still had her fallback plan of her threesome with Amanda and Alex. Two true blonde godesses in bed at the same time... she couldn't wait to walk past  _Oblivious_  with both Alex and Amanda hanging off each arm! The brunette detective would regret having turned her down all those years ago, and it would prove that Alex truly loved her and that even though she was middle age, she still was able to get the girl.

Now where the hell was Amanda? And had Alex made her obvious decision? Of course Alex was going to say yes to the threesome! They were on the exact same wave length and both wanted the same thing. No more miscommunication or harping on about brats, just lots of sex with more than one woman at a time!

A hand resting on her bicep pulled Abbie from her thoughts.

"Hey!" Alex smiled, then frowned. She indicated the darker part of the front on Abbie's black button down, "What happened to you?"

Abbie waved her hand in dismissal, "Someone bumped into me and spilt their drink, that's all."

"Oh no!" Alex sympathised. "I hope they apologised to you."

"They were drunk and were just escorted out. That's what the commotion was all about."

"Ah!" the blonde nodded. She hesitantly reached her fingers out and began toying with the button at Abbie's cleavage, "I've, ahh... I've made my decision."

"Oh, you have now?"

"Uh-huh," Alex leant intimately closer. "But before I tell you what that answer is, I just want...  _need_  to know something."

"Anything, Princess."

Alex asked sadly, "Why?"

Abbie's eyebrows furrowed, "Why what?"

"I don't want to know why didn't you say what you meant to begin with. I just want to know why an affair and then break up with me if you loved me? If you can tell my  _truthfully_  why, I might... I might even consider giving you a second chance."

"Alexandra," Abbie said softly, placing her hand on top of Alex's still toying with the button. "The truth is it was a midlife crisis. When you found that grey hair and teased me about being old, I realised I hadn't done anything that I'd wanted to do!"

Even though her voice remained calm, Alex was seething, "A midlife crisis?"

"Yes! A midlife crisis," Abbie justified. "Princess, you probably wouldn't understand."

"And how do you figure that? I'm a year older than you."

"Well it's not as if anything life changing has happened in  _your_  life like what's been happening in mine this past year."

The ADA was incredulous at Abbie's reasoning. She wanted to scream that being diagnosed with breast cancer and having to have a mastectomy in just 2 days was more life changing than the hinting of inevitable menopause, but she held her tongue. Instead she smiled sweetly and moved her from Abbie's grasp, "I guess you're right."

Abbie gave a dimpled grin, "Now, about that answer about you, me and Amanda?"

"You wait right here, Tex. I just need to use the bathroom and then  _we_  can... you know," Alex waggled her eyebrows suggestively and trailed a finger down the Federal Prosecutor's cheek.

"Where's Amanda anyway?" Abbie wondered aloud.

"She's already left... if you catch my drift," Alex replied before strutting away.

* * *

Olivia watched as Alex veered away from the bathroom and towards her near the DJ booth. There was that fierce determination in the blonde's demeanor and fire in her blue eyes that had made the SVU detective fall in with Alex all those years ago.

"Is everything ready?" Alex inquired, taking the proffered microphone from Olivia's hand.

"You bet!" Liv replied, holding another microphone in her other hand.

"Let's do it then."

Alex observed Olivia head over to the bar to Shavaughn and Fiona before she got up on the small stage next to the DJ booth. The DJ gave Alex a thumbs up, letting her know that everything was set. She took a deep steadying breath, gave a nod to the DJ then switched the microphone on.

"Ladies and gentlewomen! I'm sorry to interrupt your night out at the Rainbow Shamrock, but I have something important I have to do. My name is Alex and..."

"You're hot!" a woman at the front of the crowd called out. "Are you single, baby?"

"Funny you should ask! See the woman over there near the bar with the raven hair, black button down and leather pants... that's Abigail, the woman I call love of my life for the last couple of years... Give me a wave!" Alex waited until the confused Federal Prosecutor have a hesitant wave. "Actually to be specific...  _called_  her the love of my life. See, Abbie's been cheating on me for the last year with my co-worker and her old ex-girlfriend because she's been having a midlife crisis, isn't that right, Tex?"

The Rainbow Shamrock crowd muttered and jeered as they all looked at Abbie, who suddenly wanted the ground to open up and swallow her.

"Now, now, calm down ladies!" Alex pleaded nicely and waited for the crowd to quieten. "Abbie wants me to take her back. I've thought about it for a reasonable amount of time and I've come to the conclusion that my answer is best summed up with my favourite Taylor Swift song. Fi, can we get a microphone to Abbie, please?"

The blue and purple haired co-owner of the club rounded the bar with the other microphone and stood next to Abbie.

Alex continued, "Abbie? Which Taylor Swift song am I thinking of?"

Abigail leant toward the microphone Fiona was holding, "Your favourite Taylor Swift song is ' _Love Story_ '."

"Sing the line for me the way you've _always_  sung it to me Abbie, and maybe it'll reveal my answer!"

The raven haired woman could feel all eyes on her. She cleared her throat and warbled, " _I'll be your Prince and you'll be my Princess. It's a love story. Baby, just say 'Yes'._ "

Alex laughed heartily then turned serious, "Pity that wasn't the song I was thinking of."

"Huh?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of my  _new_  favourite Taylor Swift song, Abbie. Now how does it go? Oh, that's right:  _We are never, ever, ever, ever, getting back together... Like, ever_!"

Alex eyes found the chocolate brown ones she was looking for behind the bar as she waited for the catcalls from the crowd to die down. A wink from Olivia gave Alex the confidence to continue, "But don't worry, there's a certain Irish Gaelic saying that I want you to always remember, Abigail. Fi, what was it again?"

"Sorry to disappoint everyone but I don't know Irish Gaelic, ladies... but I do know how to  _gay lick_  an Irish lady!" Fiona poked out her tongue and wiggled it in demonstration.

The Rainbow Shamrock erupted into laughter at Fiona's innuendo.

Fiona walked back over to the bar, "Alex, I think the term you're wanting is...  _Pogue Mahone_. Did I say that right, 'Vaughny babe?"

Shavaugh grabbed the microphone from her lover's grasp, "Fifi, the term Alex is looking for is  _Póg mo thóin_."

There were a couple of audible snickers from the crowd.

The ADA nodded, "That's the term! Would you please tell the patrons of the Rainbow Shamrock and my  _lying,_ _cheating_  and very much  _ex_ -girlfriend what that means exactly."

"In the Irish Gaelic dialect,  _Póg mo thóin_  means: KISS MY ASS!"

Alex watched with satisfaction as Abbie's face reddened, the crowd burst into laughter and ' _We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together'_ began to play loudly over the music speakers. Now Abigail Carmichael had some idea of the humiliation she had felt when she had heard what Abbie had said about their sex life during that first video, and discovered that Abbie had been cheating with Serena and Casey for the past year. Alex handed the microphone back to the DJ and left the stage as Abbie began to slink away.

"So, you  _are_  single?" the woman who had called out initially stopped in front of Alex after stepping off the stage.

Alex gave the woman a sympathetic smile as Olivia approached, "I'm sorry, but I'm spoken for."

The woman nodded as she saw where and who Alex's attention was drawn to and walked away in defeat... not that she ever had a chance to begin with.

Olivia have a patented crooked smile, "Well played, Counsellor."

"Wouldn't and couldn't have done it without you, Detective." Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia's waist for a hug, "Thankyou."

* * *

Abbie looked down at her now ringing phone after she exited the Rainbow Shamrock. She didn't recognise the phone number but thought maybe it was Amanda? Maybe she could still salvage something that had become the worst night of her life, "Hey, Mandy babe?"

She jumped as a hand rested on her shoulder and a no nonsense voice spoke into the phone and behind her, "Exactly where you said you'd be."

"Liz?" Abbie was puzzled to say the least as she whirled around.

"That's Judge Donnelly, Ms Carmichael!" Liz stated as she ended the called she just made and slipped her phone back into her purse. "Those were some  _very_  interesting video messages you sent me."

"Excuse me?!"

Donnelly plucked Abbie's phone from her grasp, "The videos of you going behind Alexandra's back and cheating on her with Ms Novak, and with Ms Southerlyn... or as you call them  _'Casey Cutie'_ and  _'Rena Hunny'_. I was particularly interested of the video you took of me wondering what I wear under my robes and informing me that I'd be a 'sweet ride'."

Abbie was too stunned to stop Liz disassembling her phone. How the hell did Liz know?! How the hell did Liz get them?! Oh... fucking hell.

Liz removed the SIM card then handed Abbie the disassembled phone. The ex-Bureau Chief's tone was low and threatening, "I'm only going to say this once, Ms Carmichael: You're going to ask for a transfer back to DC as soon as possible and you're going to leave my goddaughter alone. Video evidence of you sexually harassing a New York Judge could fall into the wrong hands, like your bosses, and we wouldn't want that, would we?"

Abbie swallowed thickly, "No, Judge Donnelly."

"I'm going to keep  _this_  as surety that you'll do what you've agreed to," Liz slipped the SIM card into her purse. "If I hear a peep from anyone that you're still around or trying to get back with Alexandra, rest assured I _won't_  be pleased."

"I understand, Judge Donnelly."

"Just so you  _do_  understand, I have many more friends in much higher places than you do, Ms Carmichael. We both know a long, protracted sexual harassment lawsuit won't look good for a Federal Prosecutor such as yourself, will it?"

"No, Judge Donnelly."

Liz smirked, "I'm glad we understand each other."

"Ms Carmichael," Liz called out as Abbie turned around to leave. "In case you're still curious, Judge Petrovsky will confirm that I don't wear  _any_  underwear beneath my robes... and she'll also confirm that I'm a fucking sweet ride."


End file.
